Mission 25. I Really Mean it this time>

[ninelives]

25. We were separated back during the Olympics 2010 till JUly. 4 months ( no mention of OM at that point at all)

We got back till A was discovered last Oct 30. So almost 7 months.

Started DBing without A around April, 10 . Seemed easier to do without knowledge of Affair.

Started again in November something. Much harder this time with OM , it just is.

I have protected my sons from this reasonably well. Especially my youngest son. I havent bad mouthed OM at all to him or made a him look bad. Ive held my tongue.

Dont know what older son has said to him. Older son knows about the affair. He is very dissappointed with his mom and I have mentioned that mom still loves you etc..

My MOM is very kind and sweet but when riled. She has from the start even before affair given me advice to never take her back.

My mom has seen alot , been through hell and back with my dad's infedility over the years. I even Have a half sister out there which i have never met. Mom was even physically tortured after WW2 when Greece was in jeopardy of becoming communist.

Like I said, she is the sweetest, kindest perons until she feels she has been crossed. I kept the affair from her for a long time and she finally told me that my brother told me about it so i may as well come clean.( a little fib on her part) and I did.

I never saw my mom like that. She absolutely loved my W. But not now. Its a long story.

IF ever we recon, my mom made it very clear that my W is not welcome in her house but thats fine, my W hated going to visit them as she found the trip long and the visiting boring. My parents are both now bedridden. Its very tough to see that happen to them as they were both workaholics.

Restaurant business was very busy so they did not take a very active role in childrearing. Little house on the prarie was my guidance for the most part. Charles was my father figure after my dad left for awhile.

Anyway. I am really trying to forgive and show my sons the old me.

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