Arena of Life

[job]

WCW,
Enjoy your time away. You both need this "quality time" to relax and have some fun.

[kat727]

YOu deserve some fun together. I remember that part in MWD's books where she talks about how the LBS has left so much of their emotions/needs back while trying to work on the marriage, that when it comes to putting it all back together, they are a bit of a mess. All those pent up emotions come out and need to get dealt with.

You are doing fine. Maybe it is good that is has sometimes gone really sloooowwww, as you both get used to each other again.

Big hugs, kat

[WCW]

Wow, when the mind of an MLCer clears from the fog it's amazing the details they remember of things they knew. H remembers things prior to MLC that I don't even remember that I told him! He brings up details of our 'early' years that I can barely recall. Maybe this has been my mlc! yikes!

H continues to open up little pieces at a time of the secrets he has had for these years.

Still growing forward one baby step at a time.

[job]

WCW,
It all takes time, but when it's all said and done, he just may be a better person/husband after all of this.

Don't push, allow him to go at his own pace...he'll get there.

[NNP1965]

How did I not know this thread was here??? Awesome updates WCW, so glad to read all of this!

[WCW]

Thanks snodderly, after all this time I guess I still need more patience.

But it is paying off, H had a birthday recently and for the first time in 7 years we spent the evening of it together and had a nice time. H had called me at work around lunchtime, but it didn't occur to me until later that he was hinting about going out for lunch. I absolutely HAVE to learn to listen better and interpret what he is saying.

NNP, I think it just means you're busy improving your life, and that's a good thing!

I had a really cool event last weekend, it was something new for me and my horse, and we won!

H has been real busy with his business, and I'm not sure how to help or how much to help or if I should help. I work full time, I take care of the ranch and livestock, I don't want to be busier, but my heart says I should be helping him. If I ask he always gives me something to help him, which is a big change for him too.

[Tipper]

WCW,
So glad to hear all your good news. Congrats on winning!!!
You must be so happy you stuck this all out and that your M is progessing forward. One day at a time, right!!!
TIPPER

[WCW]

Thanks tipper! I am very happy that H and I are progressing together. I know that it would have much easier to cut and run rather than stay married.

I also know that I could not MAKE H do anything different, and I was in a position that I waited. While waiting I rediscovered who I was, the person that H fell in love with rather than the person I had become by trying to be who I thought H wanted me to be. Back to grass roots for me.

Having a great weekend with family, horses, friends, and H.

[Lorie1964]

I am glad to see that you still have such great patience and working through the struggles day by day. Reading your sitch helps to see what it will be like when my H comes out of the fog. Unfortunately he is still very deep in it, but one day......



Blessings!

[WCW]

Thanks Lorie.

This week has been a struggle. We talked a bit about H's financial problems, which led to me opening an R talk. I bluntly asked H "we've gone thru a really tough period in our M, are you here now for good, do you have feelings for me?" he said he didn't know any different, teared up a bit, while I was still finishing with "are you here just until you get back on your feet financially?" I explained that I was asking because so many of his decisions affect my decisions, yet when we were partners and a team we did amazing things when our goals matched. He understood all that.

I said I would like hugs and kisses and he sorta smiled. Then as is always typical, H withdrew and was very distant all week.

Back to usual now, but I still can't seem to bridge the gap that still exists for such a long time.