I think maybe a text reply to her VM would be a good idea. Just something like a “Hey, got your VM, thanks for the heads up! *insert joke here if you want*”

The reason I say this is, you have said that you neglected her as her H.

Then, you have admitted, due to your fears, you smothered her since she reconsidered leaving you.

How about something in between?

BITS

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.