The big punch

[Redo]

That may hurt but it's normal even in intact families. My h and I were active duty in Desert Storm, and each of us would be gone for weeks/months at a time. d2 (from age 2-5) literally feared h, like a stranger. She'd get used to him but always ran to me for comfort. When I returned after a long trip (spoke to kids every night) the kids would always feel closer to the parent at home until they were used to me being around again. IT HURT...but I stopped taking it personally fast enough. Besides, adding guilt to a toddler isn't helpful and makes the other parent angry. So, all you are aiming for is renewing your r with d. Make sense? Then begin making these trips regular, reliable.

Thats good to know. Yea, i just need to again re-establish relationship with my daughter and keep it consistent. Thanks for giving your side of the story.

but if she barrages you with a bunch of hostile comments or you really feel attacked, you can say, "Excuse me but I flew out here to see D, not fight with you. If you think this is really important, let's have the L's work it out, so I don't have to spend my daddy time, arguing with you. I'm here making up for lost time with our d..." and end the talk. You may have to use your feet to walk away...Don't forget that she had no LEGAL OR MORAL right to take her away...but there's no need to say that unless she pushes too much.

This is what i was worried about. After last Friday when wife went ballistic and uttered a lot of hurtful things, she is pretty quiet on the phone now. But yup, if things do get ugly, i'll ask her to best differ those to the lawyers. That really removes a huge amount of stress.

But besides, It's not your w's duty to baby sit you. MYK, you have to Make some friends. Seriously, it's a basic in life. Some of the GAL stuff has to involve other people right? Can you join a church support group? They don't all require you to believe all their tenets. Like a lot of churches have AA meetings in their basements & they don't have to join the congregation.Or a club & then meet someone for a drink, lunch, movie, whatever. Start small & build, and say YES to every invitation you get for the next year.

This is the one part i am having real trouble with. I actually want to hang out with some my friends. But all have families and kids and no has free time on weekends. But yup, i have not made an attempt to make new friends. Your tip on accepting invitations for this year is really good. I'll push myself on this.


Thanks for your feedback 25. Really appreciate it.