18 Wheels and a Dozen Roses

[AJM80]

Thanks! This is so tough. My Dad called today and said he would come out and get me during his work vacation at the end of the summer, that I'd just need to let him know in a few weeks. He asked if I was coming "home" or staying out here and I said I just didn't know yet. Regardless of all the H stuff, I miss my family and friends and wish I could see them more. That was part of the trigger for all this. H couldn't get a job back there and just felt like a failure.

I think when he comes this week, I will say that I ran some numbers/show him what our costs have been the last 4 months. Rather than being negative/just stating it won't work, I'll just say I don't feel comfortable signing another year's lease based on income/expenses and see if he has any suggestions. It's a pretty clear picture and he's a numbers guy, so the friendly approach should probably go over well.

H also hasn't said anything about divorce for a long time. A month or two ago he made a comment about not emailing about something because it could be used against him IF I decided to hire an atty. He was the one who just wanted to get it over with and end the uncertainty. I do think you are right that early on, they wanted permission and agreement (and someone to share the blame).

He's said I have full permission to move away, but "of course he wants us to stay". This actually came up when I mentioned my dad was remodeling his rental house and I thought that he might be doing it with us in mind. He was very against the idea (even though it would make his visitation much easier) and actually said it was because he didn't want us to move at all. A year ago, when I was pregnant, he was telling me to take the kids and move away, get a nice house, and he'd commute home for the weekends. That's a big change too.

Argh, I could just save about 2500/month by moving. That's life changing stuff and is making this decision harder.