Saturday was pretty relaxed. Sore from running/working outside, so boys and I had a Lost marathon, played board games and went out for boneless wings. First night almost all week where I didn't go out, was probably in bed by 9-9:30.
Sunday also started out relaxing. Puttered around the apartment and MIL called late morning. Gave me some suggestions for S14 and his issues. I mentioned being tired from doing siding on our house and MIL said something to the affect of not sure why you are doing anything for W. I know MIL loves her D, but she also calls it as she sees it.
Picked up W and went to dinner before the show. We planned on wine flights and cheese but neither of us bothered checking to see if the restaurant was open. Whoops! Had to come up with plan B quickly, so we just rolled with it and ordered wine and appetizers at the bar across the street instead. Had more good convo, told her my college adviser is sending my resume to a colleague in Toronto. W wanted to know if it was an American company, but it's not. Doubt anything would happen as I'm the insurance provider for our family, and I'm not sure how Canadian insurance would work for my American family. W joked about moving to Canada herself depending on how the next presidential race turned out.
W 'slipped' once or twice in calling the house and stuff ours. She also mentioned how empty the house would be if I took all my stuff. Didn't try to read anything into that. She seemed genuinely surprised I plan on going to an electronic music festival over Memorial Day, one that many of our mutual friends are going to. She has some things coming up also, but left the door open for me to do some things w/ her in the near future. Said she'd go see a certain movie again that I hadn't seen and talked about riding together to her uncle's wedding in November (in Philadelphia, 10 hours away). Went to our musical (Chicago) and both enjoyed it. I was probably sitting a little too close to her but she didn't seem to mind. Caught her looking at me and smiling a few times. Dropped her off at home, initiated a big hug myself and left. W texted goodnight and thank you a few minutes later. Told her goodnight also and went off to bed.
It's funny, in some ways I feel like I'm the one walking away from her. I still want her around and enjoy her, but I'm starting to lose that 'feeling' for her. I'm sure it will come back, and I know that love is a choice, but it's starting to really *feel* like a choice now, one that I can make for myself. Don't know how else to describe it...
Me 43 W 38 M 5 T 7 SD20 S15, S13 with 1st W ILYBNILWY June 2010 Separation/Bomb July 2010 Divorce Feb 8, 2011
