Standing for my live-in MLC'er/WAS

[angel61]

Update:

So H and I spent a day together in Vegas, just the two of us.

At first I was afraid that he wanted to talk to me about the things he said last Monday (legal separation of our assets, my snooping) but it appears that he is moving forward.

We actually had quite a good time.

Not much was said though. I actually thought back to the time when H and I were first friends and we turned into lovers then got married. Our song then was Alison Kraus' "without saying a word" because I felt his love, his caring, his strength without him needing to say it. At the same time, the silence was what made me want more, need he words of affirmation, of reassurance. he used to tell me - isn't my marrying you, my taking care of you, proof that I love you?

With OW though he was more verbal, based on the emais and texts I saw.

Is it true that we love each person who we care for in our lives in different ways? Depending more on what their personality is like?


This time, I know in my heart that H has decided to stay. His feelings are still not there, but I know my H - when he has decided on something he is pretty steady. He seems to be working on it too, in his way, just like how he was before.

We actually went there for a wine tasting event he was supposed to attend with his friends, and they bailed out on him. I did not attend; so he at first brought me to the shops, where he pointed out a few things he wanted me to have someday (expensive but he feels that I deserve to have some nice stuff, not now, but at some special time, I guess). He also said that we should have a special dinner that night.

When we got bak to the hotel we were going to the gym but he decides to flop down on the bed and started to give me the c'mon look, and after some teasing and flirting we ended up ML.

He went to the event, texting me as the night went, and then at 10:00, asked me to pick him up as he had drunk too much, but he still took me to a nice restaurant.

Of course, everything here seems to be going good! Its not as I imagined it, but at least, I no longer am in pain. I think I am starting to feel things that I have read about in the piecing forums - the insecurity that the feeling won't return, having suppressed it for so long. Even my desire seems to have gone to an all time low - I used to be so sexually charged, now I feel lukewarm.....even had to fake it a little....

I think I will start a thread in piecing. Do others feel this way too? Is it because I am not yet sure of things? Should I think"as if" we are working on the M?