I'm still here

[jbnati]

Just keep hanging in there DG. Lay off the initiating communication. It's setting you up for disappointment. You know you need to detach more.

Maybe you are being taught patience through all of this?

[~¤DG¤~]

I know I'm being taught patience through all of this.

I don't doubt that at all. It's a very humbling lesson.

[~¤DG¤~]

H texted me telling me that he wants to go to my C appt with me tomorrow.
I answered "ok" and left it at that. I am not going to get my hopes up, because he has said this before and then backed out at the last minute.

[jbnati]

I answered "ok" and left it at that. I am not going to get my hopes up, because he has said this before and then backed out at the last minute.

Good move, DG. Manage your own expectations. But also be prepared just in case he actually does show up.

[~¤DG¤~]

I really don't know how I feel about him going.
In the beginning, I wanted us to be able to work on our marriage, but things just don't seem to be heading in that direction.
We barely see one another, we talk via text and almost never speak on the phone. I feel like I am in a long distance relationship with someone I will never see.
I used to feel like we were so close, and now I feel like we're not.

I understand he is scared, I know I've hurt him. If he can't even get over that fear and try, then what am I holding on for?

[islander]

I think your choice of "word" was great. And maybe this is a baby step, maybe not. But take it for what it is. He atleast showed an interest. Now just wait and see if he shows. No expectations

[~¤DG¤~]

I don't expect anything anymore. I'm ready to give up.

I don't want to stay married to someone who doesn't seem to want to be married to me.

[islander]

If you have been reading my sitch, you know that is where I am at. It is not something I say lightly, I am just there.

[~¤DG¤~]

Islander, I did just check out your thread and I can relate to how your feeling lately.
I also have contemplated filing for D just to get all of this over with, but then I stop myself and wonder if that is truly what I want or if I'm just reacting to my pain. I know that I can't react on impulse.

On a completely unrelated note, I was watching some BS on Mtv about couples who don't trust one another and all I have to say is I never, ever want a relationship like that ever again. The controlling, the jealousy, it's exhausting. I will never have a relationship like that ever again.

[islander]

I am contemplating filing too. But I know me, once I decide to do so, it will take me a couple of months to do. So I am not afraid of acting on impulse. I am not afraid of making a decision any more. I am going to take control.

On your unrelated note....PROGRESS is what I call it. You are learning, you are becoming a better you. That is what this is all about.

I was in a R like that 15 years ago, and vowed it would never happen again. and it hasn't. For me, It was really more about the type of people I chose to be with, rather than about me. But I learned.