It is for you and your W to decide what is appropriate for how things will be split.
The important thing is how you go about.
DON'T get defensive.
DON'T accuse.
LISTEN.
Present your point of view calmly and without emotion.
UNDERSTAND her position.
BE fair.
BE reasonable.
CS -- Sorry about the belated props, man. Even though I strongly empathize with her position, some part of me tells me that my wife needs realize that things, such as my actions/reactions, financial burdens, etc. are consequences of HER actions, you know? It's not my job to do that -- life does that. I can DB/DR and have awesome intentions, and be great to her, but if she chooses to continue to be negative or be unhappy, well...
For years, my wife told me that I need to be responsible for my actions (from my porn), well, I nowadays, I sure do not see her manning up to her decision to leave/separate/divorce.
That said, I still try to keep my 180s/GALs (that are true to myself) consistently going. I still try to be flexible with her. I still try to stay even-keeled. I still try to make it work.
UPDATE 4:12pm Our son just woke up from him p.m. nap and I text her that she can come pick him up, and her lengthy response was "K". While waiting our boy is playing with his toy garbage truck for a bit, and then he grabs a ball wanting to go outside to play soccer with me. Just then mom pulls into the driveway and we go out to meet her. He starts crying and says he wants to "Stay here and play soccer." BTW, my wife is in this standoffish mood again. It takes a couple of minutes to settle him down and strap him into his car seat, and another minute to say our goodbyes. I discussed with her that I've set up Bella, our dog for a vet's appointment to get her immunization/rabies booster shots this weekend, and I asked her if I could take of it; I'd take Bella for a couple of days for that occasion. Anyway, the whole time my wife was somewhat huffy-puffy with me. Not sure if it was our son's prior behavior, or she just chose to be like that today or what. Don't get it, some days she's high, some days she's low. I mean, I do get it, but I sure don't remember my wife being THIS fickle, unless I've been blinded/biased this whole time.
