Now I have seen a lot of advice here on "exposing" EA/PA and understand the reasons to bite one's tongue. But it's hard.
I guess I screwed up right after the bomb. I was so devastated and emotionally fvcked up that I couldn't keep my mouth shut about it to certain confidants. However during the passage of time and the barrage of questions from family and friends like: "What's going on?"... "Why haven't you considered MC or Retrouovaille?" etc. etc., I had to "explain" by saying things like: "It's complicated"..."There's somebody else." Our entire community was just as surprised as I was that W wanted a D.
My DB'ing was doomed from the very start, because by bomb day her mind was already made up.
In my emotional state back then, I obviously cannot rule out a tinge of vindictiveness, in telling someone why I cannot save my M, after all, I'd been betrayed at the very deepest level. So I'm not making excuses for being human, but I know that I, we, are now the subject of gossip and I wonder how this will affect W's MLC in the future.
Has any veteran had to deal with a past exposed EA/PA to friends/family/community and how did that work out for the WAS after the passage of time?
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
