Denver, it isn't just about being patient with or for your W, you have to be patient with yourself as well...
This isn't gonna happen overnight...
Ugh... I know. The reality of my new found circumstance is sinking in. finally.
Originally Posted By: cat04
When your W was spending all of that time with you...
It sounds like you became very involved with the R again and let your GAL stuff go...
A good relationship, consists of two independent people who share common goals, dreams, interests...
People who have and pursue those things together and their own stuff separatly and support each other in that...
A balance has to occur...
People who spend every possible second together...
Smother each other eventually...
Doesn't make for a very healthy situation...
Balance...very important...
There is no doubt that there has been no balance for the past 3 months. It has been me taking every single opportunity to show W how things will be different if we reconcile. That has been my entire focus during that time.
The result? My W came to feel smothered. So I went from one extreme (pre bomb) to the other. I have been so afraid of my W perceiving something I do or something that I don't do as a sign that I am just the same old Denver, that maybe I went overboard.
I also think that knowing or being afraid of OM lurking in the background has caused me to over compensate.
Balance is definitely essential for a successful R. I'm going to have to work on that.
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
