Accept the truth of my situation... stop resisting... stop being the 'effect' and become the 'cause' ... trust that I will be okay no matter what happens ... let go.
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
when the demons creep in about how great it all is with OM, the constant fireworks, the magic telepathy, etc. INSTEAD let's turn it into HIS Demons...think of HIM having gas, bad breath, being irritable, smothing with idiotic crap, getting drunk and being a goofy sloppy drunk, or simply flossing too vigorously, clipping his toenails, not getting her jokes b/c he's too dense, not understanding any of her topical references b/c he has no idea who she is referring to, has no WELL FORMED opinions on events, economics or his own finances, is dating "UP" with your w but really that means she's dating down......She said "YOU MADE" her feel lower "ranked" but the good news there is, that's not going to happen anymore.
You're right that if you two end up staying m, it'll be a better m, and if not, YOU will be a better man. That part is already happening Denver...already happening.
I'm working 25... trying to turn my thinking ... I am having fleeting moments of understanding where I am, what I need to do, and that I am okay...
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
I have not spoken with W since my last conversation with her on Thursday... the one where she was very clear about needing space. I have not attempted to initiate contact, nor has she.
W had an out of town, overnight, show on Saturday night. And then has another show tonight. I do not know if OM is/was scheduled to be on either show, but again, he is only on a small percentage of these shows.
I do know who W traveled to her out of town show with and it was not OM.
I contacted SS last night just to see how he was doing. He has been with his grandmother all weekend.
So... 3 full days of no contact with W... after almost 3 full months of talking at least once every single day.
Odd how this affects me so much and does not appear to affect W at all.
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
If you have no contact with her, how do you know if it affects her?
Good point. But if it was affecting her, she'd be trying to contact me wouldn't she?
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
If you have no contact with her, how do you know if it affects her?
Good point. But if it was affecting her, she'd be trying to contact me wouldn't she?
But, but, but...
You say you're affected yet you're not contacting her right?
She wants space and time. She's using it. She's thinking.
Hopefully...
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
not relevant!!! She's using the space, she's in a show, she's transporting herself and GAling and I bet you she HAS thought of you but knows how weird and unfair it would be, for her to contact you.
No more mindreading...for, say, 72 hours??? Seriously man, you can do this. Do it in 3 day chunks. One down, one more to go...then reassess
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
not relevant!!! She's using the space, she's in a show, she's transporting herself and GAling and I bet you she HAS thought of you but knows how weird and unfair it would be, for her to contact you.
No more mindreading...for, say, 72 hours??? Seriously man, you can do this. Do it in 3 day chunks. One down, one more to go...then reassess
Okay, okay.... good goal.
I had asked in a previous post what you mean when you say, "where the head goes the heart will follow"?
I'm not of the context in which you mean that 25.
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
