I am not urging you to do anything. I am just telling you what I learned from experience. Because, until I was in the situation, I didn't think I would feel that way. It came as a surprise to me.
I know a lot of people recommend it as a ploy. But I don't believe I would have had the strong reaction unless it was a real threat to all that I took for granted in life. I find that our "thinking" often is not at all tied to our realities. It's just how we tell the story of ourselves to ourselves. When my reality crashed, everything I had thought for years flew out the window. I had new knowledge that came from my gut.
But a ploy wouldn't have done it for me. My husband was really gone. I saw the emails between him and OW. She continued to fight for him. And he continued to resist my changes for quite some time. Winning him back was not easy. And I am not so cavalier with him anymore.
