Won't stand for a broken family

[Timetotry]

25, now you sound exactly like my IC. She won't phrase it as MLC but that's where he is acting as if he is 17 and narcisstic. He says he had to leave to live for himself and be selfish even if it hurts the kids. She says he won't accept any responsibility and is actually a coward in all of this; escaping reality as an adult.

She actually has said "Move on because he needs therapy, years of it, and do I really want to stay married to someone like that"? She has only seen one other case like this in 20 years of practice. But remember I still am not sure since he has not seen her and I just don't believe the things that are coming out of his mouth.

Yet, I gotta wonder why he is ok staying at his mom's (like a 17 year old)when he didn't like being around her in the first place. Yes, he can afford his own place but he says its depressing and isn't ready to commit to one. He complains about that; I stay quiet but I can't stand how she enables him right now for her own benefit. Again the IC though of self-centered person only wanting to fufill his own needs. Like getting a $3K puppy because he is lonely when we pay for college out of pocket and tells D1 to start taking loans. Why not pick one up at a local SPCA if he's lonely. IC thinks he was like this for many years and I just never noticed until something exploded in him.

Isn't the whole idea here though to bust that thought process of divorce? I ask him that point blank again?

He just called again a little while ago asking what am I doing, what is for dinner, what he did this afternoon, etc. I don't think he really wants a divorce; I believe his actions state otherwise. Yet, the words that come out of his mouth are so damn hurtful.

And as for the D, he hasn't even talked to a lawyer yet. I have and he has no idea what he is walking away from. I don't want that to be the reason to reconcile (I am a Finance/Acctg Director and he is an IT Director who has no clue about managing money). I interviewed 3 lawyers and know who'd I go with, if the day come to retain one to prepare myself for every other angle but the emotional one.