It's been a week and a half since FIL passed away. I can tell you, it has been an experience for me. It's not just the loss of FIL of course, it's a bit of everything.
As my last thread was over 100 posts, and as I am now a day removed from the service, I figured it was the right time to start a new thread.
Yesterday was a LONG day, afterwards I was exhausted.
I got to the service about 45 minutes early, I couldn't believe how many people were already there. I figured it would just be immediate family and it would be time for W to see D. Well, I ended up beating W there. I said hi to several family members, they were all happy to see D. A lot of red eyes, but overall people handle these things better than you would expect. I was impressed with the friendliness I was treated with by everyone. Really, it was not as awkward as I'd thought it would be.
I got to MIL and she immediately thanked me for coming and we hugged and talked for a bit. W then got there and she was glad to see D. She looked so beautiful. MIL then asked me to sit with the family, I was honored. She asked W if she would mind, if she would like me sitting next to her. W did a little double take, but agreed.
The service was in a large theater on the local state campus (my school). The family, me included headed back to the green room. I'll be honest, this part was a little awkward for me. I just tried to stay busy, helping with D, looking at things etc. I probably shouldn't have, but I said to W, if me being there made her uncomfortable, I understood and could give them time alone. She said it was fine.
As we were getting close to going in, SIL made a comment that she would like to sit next to W. W had her tissues in her purse. I heard this, so as we walked in, I let SIL go ahead of me, she sat next to W, the BIL, then I sat next to him.
W started out with D, but that didn't last long. D go squirmy so I looked at W, she gestured (yes) and I took D. I had to get up and walk D out a couple times as she got fussy. Then about half way though, as I was walking up the isle with D, I saw my mom who offered to take her out for me. That was nice, I was able to sit for the rest of the service. It was really well done. The hardest part was the slide show. I know everyone got choked up for that part.
When it was over I went out and got D. She had pooped (yay) so I took her back and changed her. Then I took her over to some grass and let her run around a bit.
We then went back to the reception. I saw W and we hugged (pretty good hug 9 ). First thing she said was that I could have sat by her. I was surprised by this, in a good way. The way she said it, it was nice. I wish I had of I guess, but I don't think it did any damage. Nice to know she thought of it, and that she mentioned it.
I stood with her for a while as different family and friends came up to her to offer condolences. One person asked, "is this your H?" W said "yes, this is CS" Another person complimented me on how I handled D during the service. I won't over analyze it. I then told her I would give her some time with D and meet with family, and left for about a 10 minute walk around campus.
When I got back, I saw and talked to BIL for a bit. The only time "the sitch" came up. He said both he and SIL had been pulling for me, and had talked to W, although not since she first left. I didn't really know what to say. All I got out as I remember was "I appreciate it". Then I said, this was a choice she had to make on her own. I then changed the subject and the rest of the convo was good.
W came up to me as we were talking (I liked this, I definitely didn't want to be chasing her at all). We had some good time together. I realized how nice it was to have both of us together with D. Just wiping her nose is SO much easier when you have two.
At this point I was planning on finding MIL to say goodbye, but it took a long time to find a good time to see her. Obviously she was busy with many people. While I waited I talked to several other family members, again everyone was very nice.
I had D and let her run around. It was cute and she gave everyone quite a kick. I chased her around as she explored EVERY nook and cranny. I caught my W watching us and smiling a couple times. D made a friend with a little boy, that was cute.
W and I finally went up to MIL and I said my goodbyes. They both thanked me for coming. I talked to MIL about coming up to visit her, she really appreciates it. As I left W says "send pics!" I said I would.
All in all it went as well as I could have hoped. Everyone was very friendly, and only the one very brief discussion of the sitch. W was very friendly with me, and I know is very appreciative of everything I've done.
I'll see W tomorrow morning to drop off D and things should slowly get back to normal.
I must admit, all of this has added some hope for me. Who knows, they say everything for a reason. Maybe FIL's passing will prove to open up some positives for W and I. Only time will tell.
RIP FIL
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
). First thing she said was that I could have sat by her. I was surprised by this, in a good way. The way she said it, it was nice. I wish I had of I guess, but I don't think it did any damage. Nice to know she thought of it, and that she mentioned it. 
