I havn't had cause to post lately, but I have been reading on a lot of sitches. And honestly I am relieved to no longer feel a need to regularly: report, journal, monitor, vent etc. etc. on my own sitch. I know it sounds like I have given up hope, but really what it is, is I realize anything approaching the end of an MLC is going to take a long, long time.
So - just waiting to go before the judge for a rubber stamp on our D agreements. W hasn't changed at all and still behaves like a typical WAW. I on the other hand have let go and let God and trying to make the best of a less than comfortable roommate arrangement.
Will keep you all posted if anything develops.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
Just got word from my atty. June 2nd is when we go before the judge. Hopefully in 15 mins. we will be out of there, 'cause that's all the time we're getting.
Since we're gonna be roommates for a while, I still havn't figured whether or not to tell those friends and aquaintances that still don't know. Any advice?
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
W said something curious to me this AM: "God is trying to teach me humility". I don't think her job search is going well. I wonder if anything else is making her humble.
Anywho, I applied for a refi this week. She'll be happy once she get's her cut. That's all for now. Pic.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
I've been trying to live the poem I posted on the previous page, by Kipling. It helped me find direction.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
I've relied upon this poem as well Pickle. I hope that you are doing okay.
Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
I've got a question (just a curiousity really). There are two sides to every coin, and I am pretty certain I have my sitch figured out, but from all I have read on this forum, I seem to be unique. Let me explain.
Most of the opinion here leans toward the notion that when a LBS receives interest from OP's that the WAS suddenly (or gradually) becomes a little jealous and it grabs their attention. Well as a lonesome, LBH I would certainly be tempted by any attention, but I don't believe WAW would react in the way some of you would expect.
On that day the bomb fell in my lap, W was giddy about OM, an exH from her teenage past, and she also made suggestions that I should find out about my past GF's (I was engaged twice before meeting W). She even said she thought waitress on a previous night liked me, flirted etc. etc. She really made it sound like she wanted me to "find" someone else the way she had.
I guessed that she was simply attempting to assuage her guilt about the A and her intended family breakup, so I never really took her "advice" seriously. We have a background in our 18 years of being faithful parishoners in our community, heavily involved, committed to kids, the whole bit. And over the past few months, in my many hours of prayer and contemplation, one message has stood out, to keep myself pure. That means no OW's, no porno, no strip clubs, etc. etc. If I fall off that wagon, it will justify WAW and push her further away.
You should know that a civil D means nothing to me in the grand scheme, because unless the church annuls my M, I'm still married. I will not, cannot, forsake my faith. I wear my ring (even though it says "forever yours W").
Is this sitch so unusual?
Has enough time (and giddiness) passed that maybe she would be jealous?
Starving for pleasant female company, Pic.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
Has enough time (and giddiness) passed that maybe she would be jealous?
Who says time even had to pass to begin with? You're only GUESSING that your wife wouldn't have been jealous.
The things she said to you -- about finding out about past GFs -- is standard infidelity "script," and yes, it's to assuage her guilt and make herself feel better about what she was doing.
I'm not advocating that you do that -- you should continue to pray about it and listen for where God leads you, and when it's time, you'll know it -- but I think your premise is incorrect here. It's basic human nature to value what we can't have.
IDK pickle. It sounds like you are being driven by her and what she will take from this. Thats not healthy I dont think. And its not fair to the new person in your life unless they know your sitch and have low expectations for a relationhip with her.
I have done this twice and neither one do I want my W to know about. To be honest, i think I have a problem with my libido but I have kept it under check for sometime now.
Just be honest with yourself why you are getting involved with someone else. To make her jealous or to try and get her back is not the answer.
9
BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
Actually nine, there is no new person in my life, but as time goes on, I wonder if WAW's attitude about me "finding" someone would change. I am almost sure that her involvement with OM is bound to fizzle; she's in a MLC and I got her "best" years. Will she always want me to "move on" or will she become like many here think, curious if I do?
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
