New - HELP! Tried the 180/Last Resort & Failed

[AloneAt35]

Even though my most recent update hasn't passed moderation, I am here to post some bizarre/terrifying news.

On Thursday I received a call from my ex-partner. He had news for me. His house closing has been moved back to May 26th. "Fine" I said, "Congratulations on the new house."

Well, he doesn't want to move into his new house right away, he wants to stay living in our rental unit - where he promised I could live. "Why on earth" I asked???

Long story short, he's moving the OW from out of state into his new house, but she won't let him move in with her there (she won't let him live in his own new house)!!! The reason is because the child that she has been denying is her child (she was supposedly just babysitting the child, then it was supposedly an ex-boyfriend's child she was trying to adopt) IS in fact her biological child. She thinks there needs to be a period of "transition" before they all live together!

So, apparently, she's such a devoted mother that:
1. She denied for weeks that the child was hers. She claims she lied because the child's estranged father might be looking to kidnap him, but she sent my partner photos of the child less than two weeks after meeting him...not something you do if you are TRULY scared for the security of your child...all the while claiming it was just a kid that she was babysitting.

2. She's willing to give up a stable job and college scholarship to move her child out of state with a man that she met on the internet less than two months ago. (But the man won't actually be allowed to live in his own house with them until she deems proper! Also, she's never let my ex-partner meet the child when he has visited her and he's never been allowed to come to her home, workplace, school, etc. to confirm they even exist.)

3. She's asking this 7 year-old child to give up his familiar school, peer-group, and home, because "She's tired of sacrificing her happiness" for her son.

She (the OW) plans to tell her son that they are moving out of state for a job and it is her new house. My ex-partner will be allowed to visit for dinner until the child accepts him...Or she says, he can come in after the child goes to bed and leave in the morning before the child wakes up.

So back to what HE asked me: can he live with me in the rental unit while the child 'get's comfortable?' I said, "I think your relationship with this woman is bizarre and I don't want to be involved, so no." WHY??? he said, then he said he'll sleep on the floor! I told him that I was very concerned with the mental health and well-being of this child, but NO, I was not comfortable with being any part of this arrangement and if he wants to slowly transition into the child's life, then he should take the relationship with the mother slowly, meet the child on his own terms, and slowly become part of his life. I also told him that I am concerned about the lies the mother/OW has told and I asked if it is possible that she could be some sort of scam artist?

I had a good long talk about this with my partner - he's in la-la land, but he gave me lots of information. He confirmed that he really did meet her on the internet in late March. He says they've had five dates but they talk on the phone every day and she really "cares" about him and they are discussing marriage! He's so happy he could die!!!

He still doesn't know the real story about why she changed her name after they started communicating...some excuse about the estranged ex-boyfriend.

They've only been allowed to meet "at the movies" - first she was living with an ex-boyfriend so they couldn't go there, then she said she moved back to her home but there was always an excuse why they couldn't meet there and why he couldn't meet her son. She (the OW) plans to tell her son that they are moving out of state for a job and it is her new house. My ex-partner will be allowed to visit for dinner until the child accepts him...Or she says, he can come in after the child goes to bed and leave in the morning before the child wakes up. (DISGUSTING!!! I thought we were moral people and that he was a moral person!)

He says he knows everything about her, but she won't even tell him how old she is or what her nationality is (she has a heavy Eastern-European accent, but says she is mostly French, and not a US citizen).

He is talking about marrying a woman he doesn't even really know, after leaving our 19 1/2 year relationship less than two months ago!

What is going on! I still love the man I knew, but this is not the same person! This is an insane person! I'm sacred for him and for myself! What is going on here??!

I am trying to GAL. I'm limiting contact with him, always staying upbeat and friendly (even when I get news like he just dumped on me.) I've applied for four full-time jobs, I'm cleaning out the house we bought together to sell. Now I don't even know if I'll be allowed to live in the rental unit we own in both of our names. I am so scared, so incredibly scared. I can't tell people what is going on or reach out to his family because that is against the DB strategies.

I spend all day praying for him - for his sanity and for this relationship to crash and burn quickly so that he comes to his senses, but I don't think he is going to. I think he is going to marry this woman and be gone forever. I am going to my mother's because I am feeling like a danger to myself...I was doing better, and then this news...this horrible news...

Does anyone have an insights? I don't want to give up on him.