ISO WAW Decoder

[25yearsmlc]

then approach your w as if you assume the best of motives, JOINTLY, as in "we both want what's best for the kids" and "we both want max time with them of course... Concede what pros exist for the 1 week on, week off suggestion and that you certainly see them, but on the whole you think the pros of the present situation outweigh the pros of a week on, week off. Then after you list the pros, act as if the cons, (the negatives of the one on one off suggestion -not calling it HER suggestion, but labelling it by content) suddenly occurred to you.

"Oh, less time with" you or more time with sitters and all the rest. Make transportation problem (which I still don't get) a finale...
When you discuss the pros, list ONLY reasons related to the well being and stability of the kids, and minimizing time with daycare or sitters, esp since there is upheaval as it is. Do NOT blame your w or imply she's the problem but simply that you want to keep as many things continuing along as before, as possible. Minimizing changes for them, etc If you feel pressed, you can also say its mutually beneficial to keep costs down too. But begin with, and stress, the best interests of the kids. Acknowledge you know she wants that too, so you two ought to be able to work it out... (Give her something to live UP to and don't attack her mothering. It's never going to get her back and it hurts her R's with the kids, which hurts them).

Make sense?

This is an opportunity for you two to work out something together, kid related and NOT about you as a couple. (180s!!) Set the tone with her by being CALM, validating her view point, assuming the best of motives and verbalizing that...and let this be a chance to have a decent talk. If not f2f, then on the phone. Be pleasant, upbeat, friendly even, but busy so as soon as the topic is covered you get off. If you begin to lose it, get off the phone while you can and say you'll have to table the topic for now b/c you have to go to the GAL thing you have planned...still upbeat and pleasant...

we'll all nominate you for your Oscar next year. Trust me, we all earned them..