Just wanted to think out my progress so far on DB...
Other than the slight backslide the other day when he got the apartment, we haven't been having any R discussions. I haven't been pushing or pursuing.
There are things he doesn't like: (1) I haven't resisted the D though I want to look over the paperwork with my lawyer before I sign - he doesn't want to use lawyers. (2) I'm not making my mind up on what I want to do as far as staying or move, moving out of the house, etc so it "forces" him into the apartment and an undefined time schedule. (3) Scheduling time for the car is a pain.
I'm doing well on the GAL aspect. I've been to a couple social event and going out with my friend. I'm working out regularly and trying to get out to exercise every time my PMA dips. I've started the job search in various parts of the country. I'm going out and doing things by myself like shopping, eating and coffee shops etc.
I've started to detach although it's easier when he doesn't contact me. When he contacts me it usually sends me in a tailspin. I haven't gotten to that point of calm serenity that I remember from last time. This means I'm still on a bit of a roller coaster though I'm trying to control it. It also means I haven't begun the part of really identifying with his position so that I can validate him. I recognize my part in things though and that I can, and have been, working on. It's honestly really hard to validate him this time though because I feel he's the one more responsible this go around. He gave up on us after everything we learned from the first time. I'm going to have to find some way to get over that I guess.
Kinda along with the last thought, I haven't been able to put a smile on my face in every interaction with him. I haven't been negative but I haven't been happy either, just dealing with the facts and leaving emotion out of it. I'll need to work harder on that.
