I'm still here

[lovehurts2]

i wish there was a happy story to tell

But i am back here with separation no.2.

I can tell you that when i was separated for the first time, i was a mess, i lost a lot weight, i couldn't even laugh at joke, smile when the sun was shinning.Like yourself, It I was always constantly thinking about my H. Is he too was thinking about me?or if he was hurting too. It was like i was in a human body with no soul.

Then i found this forum by accident, and i ordered the DB and DR and read them straightaway. I can't tell you how much those books taught me on advice that my friends could never give me. I was always in the forums looking at other people's post, and learning that way. The support network on here is amazing.

I did the LRT, and to cut off communication was hard. I fought myself to msg or call him (at times i did slip) and then one day he started calling me. At first it was once a week at best,then it was a few days and then everyday.

I was careful to not act "too happy" as i didnt want to look desperate and drive him away, i wanted us to build our friendship again. He saw that i had kept myself busy and i was keeping fit, i would presume that he saw that the girl he first met and loved, had returned in me. A man is not going to find any woman attractive if she is crying all time, begging and showing low self esteem.

I practiced everything that was in those books, and i can promise you everyday it gets that much easier. You learn to love life again, you learn that the woman you use to be before M is still there inside. GAL is so important, to know that a man or woman does not define your life.

If H didnt ask me back, then i know i was stil on the road to that pot of gold. It is always about patience and being true to yourself.

Never give up on hope,hope on yourself and love.

H and I are separated now (u can see in my sitch) and it was much my fault as his. But i got caught up in the fairytale that we would now be ok after getting back and i did not continue to practice the advice i had read. It is so important to keep on working on a marriage, i had let it slip into our old ways. And i am kicking myself.

Anyways this is your post, but i can tell you that if you keep that head high, smile, GAL and look forward ..your H will have a hard time not noticing you.

Everyone says give its all about time and how time heals, i believe that its what you do with your time, is what matters.