Won't stand for a broken family

[Timetotry]

Thanks Calystra. I won't push.

Thanks 25 for your advice that I appreciate and will follow.

Stable, yes, but I hate being alone. Sure 4 kids help but I want a partner in life; I miss my companion. I want it to be him and I am concerned for myself as to how long I will wait for that again. As of today, I will wait but I can't answer for a year from now. Yet, 5 months ago I said I'd be dating again by now. I can't just throw away 20 wonderful years with the one I want to be with.

Why do ever I want to know about OW? I want to make sure that his word and promise hold, nothing more than that. Last time I got alot of details and wish I never asked for them looking back. If there was an OW this time, I'd just want to know that it happenend, nothing more. So I can deal with my thoughts and move 'from this day forward' then. If I didn't know, I'd always wonder 'what if' I think.

I have been challenging myself with the idea to believe its a new relationship with a new man (even though I know his flaws). So if he had past experiences, just as if I was dating someone new, it doesn't matter, only present and future does.

I am scared though that as time passes he may want to start seeing other people too and then there is no chance of a R/M. Not sure if its a boundary of mine just yet but I know it would be a hard pill to swallow. I know if I let the R be, it will happen if its 'meant to be'. I always had control of sorts and I now have none in this sitch. Its such a life learning lesson; one I was never interested in learning.