85 Days

[Denver_2010]

Denver:

You truly are an inspiration to many of us on this board. You have fought really hard to get to where you are. What seems to be the pattern to some degree is that the WAW really needs to deal with her own issues before she can love you the way you deserve.

Im struggling with something right now Denver and this is just food for thought.

I want my wife back but the real wife, not a figment of her or a wife that is in love with or thinks shes in love with somebody else.

Why would we want something like that. We are then just settling because we are afraid to live life without them.

Yes there are other factors like your SS and for me its my kids.
But we deserve to have somebody truly love us that wants to be with us and goes our of their way to make US feel special. And yes it goes both ways, we KNOW we would try like hell to make them feel special. The old marriage is dead but not buried because I would like to take the best parts of the old marriage;
( and there were some amazing things) and just add the things I have learned on this site. I know Denver you would make your wife so HAPPY if she let you but again, she had to really want it.

We are up against it Denver, lets not lose focus on what Dbing is but lets keep our eyes open as well. We deserve to be loved.

9

Absolutely correct 9. Definitely. However... if you are like me, then you honestly believe that your W will, at some point, come to realize that her place is with you and in your M. That she will love you as you deserve to be loved again.

This is what I believe about my W... I truly believe it is there within her just under the surface of this mixture of confusion, hurt, pain, and questions of what life is really about... I have seen it in her and heard it in her voice at various times over the past several months.

So the question that we need to ask OURSELVES is ... "do we want to be there when our W's are able to recognize this for themselves and are willing to take the leap of faith that our M's can be happy and strong?

DO WE WANT TO BE THERE?

For me... I know that if I decide to walk away from THIS... if I decide that I am DONE ... there will be no turning back.

So I face the choice of continuing the fight so that I can be there when my W decides that she has it figured out and that she is ready... vs the choice of being DONE and moving on with my life.

How much TIME will we have to wait? That is the million dollar question. So... we have to continue the fight not knowing ...

In the meantime, we go through life as we are... maybe GALing ... but depriving ourselves of the love that we deserve.

Thus again... I ask myself ... Is it worth it?

BITS
Denver