85 Days

[Denver_2010]

One thing I have figured out in my own sitch and years of reading the sitches on this board. When the pieces of the puzzle don't fit together and make a coherent picture, it means that you don't have all the pieces. Some things are being hidden.
For me, the mystery was the most painful part.

Yep. My W is all over the board. I believe that she is truly confused and that she doesn't even know what she wants for her life. I don't believe that this is solely about OM at all. But that is certainly one of the pieces of the puzzle.

All I can really say is, you should stop trying to piece it all together, because you don't have all the pieces, and some of the ones you have may be false.

Stop trying to piece it together? Yep. It is driving me insane. I think that you are right. I'm not sure that my W even has all of the pieces at this point.

The best thing to do is take what's left of your self-esteem, and say to yourself, "I don't have time for people who treat me like this", and go spend your time with people who enjoy your company. To spend time wanting to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you is negative energy, and it is a huge drain on your soul. At a time like this, you need positive energy, not negative.

My self esteem is okay Lotus. It is my fear of failure that is causing my paralysis. Cat nailed it. I'm someone who is used to being 'in control' ... with my career, my personal life, pretty much everything up until this situation. And, I'm someone who has not experienced much failure with things that I have sought out to accomplish. The fear of failure though, is what I think has always allowed me to succeed.

But this has been the hardest thing that I have ever dealt with in my life and the fear of failure is at an all time high. I'd rather have to go back to law school and take the bar exam another 10 times than have to go through what I am now.

Thanks for following my thread and offering me your thoughts and advice Lotus. It means a lot.

Denver