85 Days

[ninelives]

INDEED. You are a good catch Denver. Way better than the old Denver. IS she going to miss out on the new improved DENVER?

Stay tuned; same Denver time and channel.

Not making light Denver. I hope this has a happy ending but I believe its going to be a relatively long wait until we see the true outcome.

9

[2stepboogie]

And am I the only one who saw hope in the words of the w?

No you are not!!

Denver sound familiar? It should

[Starsky309]

One thing I have figured out in my own sitch and years of reading the sitches on this board. When the pieces of the puzzle don't fit together and make a coherent picture, it means that you don't have all the pieces. Some things are being hidden.
For me, the mystery was the most painful part.

What is hidden? That is anybody's guess. Usually it is a lover, but that doesn't mean it is. All I can really say is, you should stop trying to piece it all together, because you don't have all the pieces, and some of the ones you have may be false.

The best thing to do is take what's left of your self-esteem, and say to yourself, "I don't have time for people who treat me like this", and go spend your time with people who enjoy your company. To spend time wanting to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you is negative energy, and it is a huge drain on your soul. At a time like this, you need positive energy, not negative.

AMEN and HALLELUJAH.


Starsky

[25yearsmlc]

Denver,

Favor...When you can, can you check in on a guy named "greenblue90" with a thread called "Waw open bisexual marriage"? (Or words to that effect). I think he needs more male thoughts than I can give him. Oh, and he's a soldier and I'm a veteran and feel bad for him, he's going overseas on a great assignment after being in the Middle East for some time...so, it'd be nice to help him out. I don't know what to tell him anymore.

Thank you.

[♪CS♪]

I don't know what to tell him anymore.

A female lawyer at a loss for words? It must be serious.

After I get D to sleep I'll take a look. Thanks for the heads up.

[25yearsmlc]

I don't know what to tell him anymore.

A female lawyer at a loss for words? It must be serious.


Hey, I can't bill for my time, so I thought I'd pass the fun around.

After I get D to sleep I'll take a look. Thanks for the heads up.

[Denver_2010]

Denver,

Favor...When you can, can you check in on a guy named "greenblue90" with a thread called "Waw open bisexual marriage"? (Or words to that effect). I think he needs more male thoughts than I can give him. Oh, and he's a soldier and I'm a veteran and feel bad for him, he's going overseas on a great assignment after being in the Middle East for some time...so, it'd be nice to help him out. I don't know what to tell him anymore.

Thank you.

I did 25.

[Denver_2010]

And am I the only one who saw hope in the words of the w?

No you are not!!

Denver sound familiar? It should

yes, yes, 2step... it sounds familiar

BITS
Denver

[Denver_2010]

One thing I have figured out in my own sitch and years of reading the sitches on this board. When the pieces of the puzzle don't fit together and make a coherent picture, it means that you don't have all the pieces. Some things are being hidden.
For me, the mystery was the most painful part.

Yep. My W is all over the board. I believe that she is truly confused and that she doesn't even know what she wants for her life. I don't believe that this is solely about OM at all. But that is certainly one of the pieces of the puzzle.

All I can really say is, you should stop trying to piece it all together, because you don't have all the pieces, and some of the ones you have may be false.

Stop trying to piece it together? Yep. It is driving me insane. I think that you are right. I'm not sure that my W even has all of the pieces at this point.

The best thing to do is take what's left of your self-esteem, and say to yourself, "I don't have time for people who treat me like this", and go spend your time with people who enjoy your company. To spend time wanting to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you is negative energy, and it is a huge drain on your soul. At a time like this, you need positive energy, not negative.

My self esteem is okay Lotus. It is my fear of failure that is causing my paralysis. Cat nailed it. I'm someone who is used to being 'in control' ... with my career, my personal life, pretty much everything up until this situation. And, I'm someone who has not experienced much failure with things that I have sought out to accomplish. The fear of failure though, is what I think has always allowed me to succeed.

But this has been the hardest thing that I have ever dealt with in my life and the fear of failure is at an all time high. I'd rather have to go back to law school and take the bar exam another 10 times than have to go through what I am now.

Thanks for following my thread and offering me your thoughts and advice Lotus. It means a lot.

Denver

[Denver_2010]

I know you have followed my thread. Every word.

Yep. I have Gritter. And I admire your perseverance so much man. I also know that you are struggling with your own sitch right now. I hope that you know that, no matter what you decide, that you will continue to be shining example to all of us of what DBing is all about. And... a true success story here.

And if what I say has any benefit to anyone here then my typing one letter was worth it.

Then count EVERY word that you have typed as worth it Gritter. You have helped me and so many others.

I am struggling right now with my will. My will to continue this fight in the face of adversity.

I have been here before. It just seems that the time is weighing on me.

That is no one's fault but mine. My perception of time. And each person has his own.

I assume that you tell me this because you see me struggling with the same thing Gritter... My will to continue this fight in the face of adversity.

I am. And I know that you are as well. I also know that each of us has to reach our own conclusion as to whether or not we continue the fight.

If you ask me? I see a heck of a lot more to be hopeful about for you than I have right now. But that means nothing Denver.

It actually means a lot to hear you say that Gritter.

I know that there is still hope in my sitch. I do.

My fight though is with the emotional damage that I am suffering as a result of what has occurred over the past several weeks. It has affected every other aspect of my life. I am struggling to stop the bleeding.

I sense anger and resentment towards W creeping into my brain and my soul. These are emotions that I have not experienced all that much with my situation up until now. They, along with fear, are the demons that I am fighting.

I have been divorced and it is the most painfull thing I have ever expereinced in my life. Maybe that is why I am willing to go furhter this time.

The pain you suffer in the while of this is NOTHING to the regret you may feel the rest of your life.

I am wondering why you feel that the pain of divorce is so much more than the pain that I feel while this is going on and so much more than possible regret?

I have never gone through a D... and I can see why it would be painful... more so when children of the two parties are involved ... but you and I do not have children with our S's and you did not with your first (if I am remembering correctly). It seems at some point, a time of diminishing returns to suffering through trying to salvage the M hits us. Where we truly have to ask ourselves, is it worth it?

That means balancing the pain and regret of D... vs ... the pain and emotional damage of going through THIS.

Put EVERYTHING you have toward this until you have no more.

I am telling you as man who has been through it.

You WILL regret any effort you leave behind in yourself.

Do it.

Thanks for push up the mountain Gritter... I need it right now.

My WILL to continue this fight is being challenged by the adversity that I am facing.

As you have said in the past... I need to decide if this is a hill that I am willing to die on.

I don't know yet.

BITS
Denver