Won't stand for a broken family

[Timetotry]

25, love the comment and completely agree! H is not sleeping around I have some out and asked so I am safe there. Don;t think he would lie about that now. I look at it from the same way, if its good and I don't mind, it will only make him think at some point why not come back when the sex is so good. On some level its creating a bond. As a matter of fact, just came back from D3 game now and he came into the laundry room wanting to attack me and says how good I look. He has the kids at his mom's tonight and says just to say when and he will be over. Even came over to kiss me for a few minutes on his way out after packing the kids in the car. Says he feels like he is 16 again around me.

Does he need counseling? I don't know if he has fears of C. I would think it would help since he said he has bottled up feelings for 16 years. Even if its for a few sessions, it would satisfy me. I look at it as if he wanted to come back, I'd ask him then to go but if he said no I'd have to figure out a way for us to discuss how we move forward without moderators. Why does he resist? He went after his brother died and said it was a waste of time. Then when he had the A and I found out, I said if we were going to try to work on the M we had to go. We went 7 times; I thought we both enjoyed it. When this bomb hit and I asked about C, he said that the C only seemed to help me and he thought it was a waste them. Not sure if I believe that since I can only believe 'half' of what he says.

He has not said he wants back in. He has said twice(its been a month since R came up) that he is scared to return thinking I will go back to old ways accusing him and he can't take that. He doesn't want to come back and let the kids down again. I have validated and said I would try my best and that I see things differently. I explained how I need quality time and he was not giving it to me which made me accuse him. He validated too. I believe I am seeing actions. Talking to me more, coming around more, asking me what I am doing on my night out, wanting to ML more, asking me if I am mad at him for no reason, etc. He has told D1 and D2 how we are communciating so much better and has said this doesn't mean we won't ever get back together.

So if I can't bring up the R talk, I am just in this waiting pattern in hopes he will. I do think it would be a 180 though for me to bring it up. I am one that keeps things in too, until time passes. Yet, since he left R talk may seem as if I am pursuing.

One point he just said has me confused. He said that I am doing all these things now that I am 'single'. I commented saying I am not single, I am M. He said 'ok legally only'. I didn't come back on it but I don't know what he meant by that. Its so hard to detach and not read into his thoughts in order to work on the M.