You know we are all working on ourselves as we pray for our spouses to come out of MLC. We detatch, take care of ourselves, our children and move forward. You know though, I have struggled with finding any major issue that I contributed to the breakdown of our marriage because all H has done is blame me for his decisions, saying I made him do this or that, though I swear I have never forced my husband to do anything. I know most major decisions were discussed and compromises were made on both sides. Sometimes there were even sacrifices in order to help the other in a personal or family journey. But, finally today I realized, I too am at fault for never really confessing to my husband the times he hurt my feelings, when he disappointed me or when I was just unhappy. For the past seven months I have been infuriated and appalled the H never came and told me when he was unhappy though he never seemed that way. I too am at fault here because I did not to that either. I built up those walls of resentment unconsciously. When I was saying, it's okay, I love him and I will get over it, I was really building those walls which in turn made me a very defensive wife. Which is one of H's biggest complaints, I was so defensive.
Question now is, how do I show him I am no longer defensive??
I just love these light bulb moments, don't you??
Blessings,
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
