I understand the scorecard issue... Pointless and YES in her eyes she's way ahead.
Initially I caught myself getting involved in heated conversation with others regarding W in front of kids. I quickly realized that was bad for them and have not in a while. I confide and vent here and with some close friends and family AWAY from kids ears and eyes. On a rare occasion I get emotional, but always in private now. I tell my kids every night mommy and daddy love them. I tell my girls they are beautiful like mommy. Of course I actually mean it, so it's not too difficult. I understand the importance of being selfless in regard to them... They love her as I love my mother (despite her flaws as a parent). Hiding my toxic emotions and pain is so much easier when you know doing so shields my children from having to deal with more than they are already. s about setting YOU FREE of your pain.
I heard that "holding onto anger at someone b/c you think they deserve it, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes."
SO TRUE... I had to chuckle at that one... I'm burnt to a crisp!!!
I do have to forgive... FOR ME. A life of resentment and bitterness is no life I want. I want to smile and laugh as I always have... To smile at W with love and respect and gratitude for what she has given me. I'm close and I will get there soon... Not sure where I'd be without this site and the angels who land here daily.
Regarding keeping the road home paved and smoothed... I really made a mess of it up to this point... Gonna take some work to filled the holes, but I'll work at it.
6)* MY own addition--learn about what Forgiveness looks like. AND Begin to do it.
