Back here again - why oh why?

[lovehurts2]

Hi guys,

Its been a while since i posted..my stich is in the link below


Last year after the separation i did the 180/GAL and i can say it did work. Our communication became more frequent followed by physical connection.The following few months was like i was born again. I couldn't have been happier.

I ended up going on my holiday overseas, had the most amazing experience of my life with a girlfriend. I did everything that made my heart content (except hooking up with other men)

Since ive been back, which has been 3 months since i moved back with H, i thought things were ok, we did have fights but nothing like it was before. The nagging lessened down on my part, as i was aware it was a issue in the past.

And then...

It all then blew up on mother's day. The morning started off great as he bought me flowers and a card (we dont have any children but a dog who we treat her as a daughter) I thought it was so sweet and endearing from him.An hour later, he touched my stomach and said"getting pregnant?" i was upset, yes i have put on weight from my overseas trip, i was well aware of it and i have been working out. He had been making remarks about my weight e.g you could lose about 20kgs, or how about the double chin" He believes he is only saying it to motivate me to lose weight..it just hurts because its the words he uses aren't constructive critisim.

Because of this and many other things, our intimacy levels have dropped to non existent. He says he is more unhappy than before, and he feels there is no spark left, that we dont have any sex etc. He mentions that he is over it, and he just doesn't want to be in this relationship as he is sick of being unhappy. This was a surprise as i didnt know he was unhappy with our situation.

Im a wreck. Yes we got back together but we adverted back to our old ways, and again going in circles without finding a new way to resolve things as what we were currently doing never worked.

I suggested we go counseling and he agreed. I couldnt get in til a week later, so after the day i booked us in he said "no i don't want to go anymore, ive made up my mind, i dont see any point at all" He believes that he isnt going to pay someone to make him change his mind when he is determined that what he is feeling is not going to change. He also mentioned if he went and the therapist asks " do you want to save your marriage?" He will answer "no".

Am i just holding onto hope?

I plan to stil go and see this counselor for her to explain to me why we have these behavioral issues. I'm currently living stil with H but he believes i should move out. I can move back with my family(there will be no issue)

.... but should i go move out of the house? Im stuck whether if i should see a counselor and if i should be living in the same house? would it be healthy if we lived in the same house.

I'm stuck what to do as H is determined this is over as he believes he gave the M a second shot, did everything he could and it didn't work? To me marriage counseling is the last resort..and i know if we went, that we gave it all we could to save it.

I hate this feeling.