I haven't posted in a while but thought I would share my observations of late.
My H has been back in contact since the end of Feb when he invited D and I to dinner to celebrate my birthday. Since then AoS have been very evident and he has been going with D and me to run errands etc and cooking for me if D is out. For the most part it has been warm and friendly and he has been very reliable (if he says he will, he will).

I can detect a change in him. Previously he would say, "If I have time" or "I'm busy" or "I'll see how I go". Now it's just yes or no. He's much warmer and caring.

He has shared a number of conversations about his mistakes, told me how sorry he is for the hurt to everyone and told me how this whole affair has been full of highs and lows for me, him and ow.

He has reconnected with my mother over a few days while watching D's sport.

I started to wonder about ow.... my D tells me the photos of her in his bedroom are gone but then he tells me they are still together but it probably won't last. He says it's complicated. I know he is still seeing her although he is making plans to spend time with his extended family and doing other things without her.

The ongoing pattern is that when he gets too close there'll be a small issue that H blows out of proportion and then blames me. I can see it unfolding as it happens and try as I might it results in him saying go away, leave me alone and blaming me in some way. It creates space for him. A day or so later he is fine and the AoS are back and he is warm and friendly again.

I'm feeling frustrated after the last blowup and the knowledge that he is with ow. I am tired and frustrated but on the other hand I am trying to 'hang in there' thinking ow could be on her way out or is she?? H is showing all signs of confusion here and lately I feel it's playing with my head and I'm giving it all too much attention.

I don't know if I should just throw out an ultimatum, go with the flow or go dark. I'm looking for some wisdom cos I just don't seem to have any at this point in time.