All right, well I mentioned this but I want to say more. For instance, tonight he had to fix something on my computer and he clicked on one of my open windows and it was a victoria's secret model (I was ordering some workout clothes)... he was like, "What are you doing?" Normally he would have said something like YOWZA!! In front of me, but I've asked him to stop that behavior (looking at other women in front of me, etc.) so he just kind of got quiet. I asked him not to poke around...

Then he fixed the thing I asked him and left the room and my intuition thought "great, now he is probably going to start porn all over."

I asked him about porn one night (when we were never having sex) and he said he does use it (online photos/etc.) and I said it was going to destroy our relatinship. He told our therapist that he only does it "as a release" and cause he gets lazy and it's a stress release.

Um..

Then he wrote me an email b/c I'd been VERY upset about it for a whole month after I asked him and he said he'd just always done it and didn't realize how damaging it could be and that he'd stop. Fine. So he claims he's stopped looking at porn (and I believe him) but -- masturbation? I mean. ... he must do it. And it kind of bums me out b/c it's like he takes care of himself and that's that.

So I just went into his room after he fixed my computer and said "Are you going to eat those peanuts," and he joked with me "No do you want them? You can have them in exchange for some delicious sex." And so I got embarrased a little and hugged him and started kissing him on the head, and he was like "I'm probably too tired. I'll just lay there limp." And I said, "Where do you want to lay?" And kissed him... and he was like, "Go eat your peanuts."

???

So he does this all the time. Mentions sex. Puts it "out there" and then takes it back or doesn't want to.

My real gut feeling is that he IS being lazy and that he masturbates instead. Like tonight, I'll go to sleep no sex, and he'll probably take care of himself after I'm asleep.

I'm wanting to work on us and I'm putting this issue aside for now so we can deal with other stuff, but this just gets so disappointing.