I value your judgement and honor your decisions. It just appears that you have been having a battle within yourself for the last week or so.
I understand everything you are saying completely. I still love my XH. Right now, he is a worthless POS. To me, his family, everything that he once held dear. At some point you have to ask yourself, "What more can I take?"
I have those empty spaces Grace talks about. I know to wait for those spaces to be filled as they should be rather than try to cram something into them just to fill them up. So do you.
You are hurting, and we are all hurting for you. Setting your boundary the way you did is not wrong, but perhaps not entirely right. Who can say?
My husband walked out on me and our dreams 14 months and 10 days ago. Today I got the settlement of 20 years of work and sweat and dreams. 20 years, or in your case, 17 years, is not much when reduced down to This is Yours and This is Mine.
No one here doubts your honor. When you truly, TRULY are at the end of your rope, you know without a doubt. I did, even though, as I said, I still love the jerk, that I had to get out of the way for both his sake and my own.
You follow your heart AND your instincts. Be TRUE to yourself. The rest is just spillage. Sad, but true.
