OnMyWay: to who knows where?

[OnMyWay]

Nothing new to report. I've been as dark as possible. However, I'm getting a feeling things have been happening behind the scenes. What will pop up next? I have to admit, my curiosity is beginning to wonder.

Wednesday, I got invited to an office dinner for Friday night. W is now all about forcing herself into the middle of D's life will be around to pick her up from school. So, I tell her I'll be home later. She flies off the handle at how inconsiderate I am for not consulting with her first before making plans. I'm just figuring better to ask for forgiveness than permission.

However, I couldn't help but use the opportunity to push her buttons a little. I apologized for cutting into her ever-so-precious party-time her friends. She told me she has to study. Either way, point taken. I told her I'd just take D with me. She capitulated and said it wasn't a problem.

Yesterday, I decided to step it up a notch. When she came over, she told me she was getting a sitter to cover her parenting last night. I told her, "Great, see if she can cover for me tomorrow night."

She asked, "Are you going to go out after your dinner?"

"Yes, I am." It was the first time I actually saw pain in her, realization setting in, that I'm not sitting around waiting for her to figure it out. She physically removed herself from my presence and walked over to D's dresser and began to reflect under the guise of rearranging things.

I almost feel bad.

However, we sometimes have to sleep in the bed we make. I'm sure she fears I'm going to go out with the "OW," and I'm ok letting her think that.

Her F wants to talk to me this weekend. He had called me on Tues, but i couldn't talk, as W was there. Wonder what tidbits he'll have to offer. I only have the truth: I'm sick and tired of this sh!t.