Yah, I see that he was checking just to MAKE SURE that I WAS being hard on myself. It was a temp. check also.
I know and every one else knows that if H cant be happy with me, he will not be happy with anyone. Every one I know tells me they saw me bend over back wards to please him and they did not like how he treated me so badly so many times. He is emotionally bankrupt. People have said to me, that he should have been kissing the ground that I walk on due to my forgivness of his past escapades. He just never tried really hard to make up for anything. It was all words, and rarely any actions.
I just want a family life so bad(M and kids). I see how other men treat their wifes so great and would do anything for them. My H would act bored around me, and act like anything I wanted to ever do was a killjoy. I am waking up to how badly I have been treated in the past, and I never want to go through it again. I want respect, emotional support, and love.
Beatrice, I would love to hear about your boundaries you have set, if you wouldnt mind sharing.Lifejustgothard2, are you going to alanon??? I think it helps me.
If my H wanted to work on things, I think I would laugh in his face right now. I am always his back up plan when the other women reject him or when he is out of money, so I know that will take about 6 months or more till he seeks me out - just like the past two times he left.
He would have to do a whole lot of apologizing to me and friends and family, he would have to do a personal self inventory of his faults and try his best to fix them, I would really want him to get sober if he possibly could, attend A.A. when I am at alanon, No flirting w/other women, pick up some hobbies that are healthful, he would have to stop blaming the world for all his problems, and he would have to not be such a temper tantrum two year old that always has to have things his way. WOW, I just dont see it happening.
I am letting go, so I dont get dragged. I can have a much better life with out him right now. I am not ready to move on or nor will I be anytime soon with any other man. I really believe in M, and in sickness and in health the vows are always going to be respected by me. Until he divorces me (i dont see myself filing-ever), I will stand and hope that he gets the help that he needs, which is a lot!!!!
He has been offered help by his parents (last week) to get sober,they said they would help him get into A.A. if he wishes. But H said no, that he is just fine and refused the help. Typical alcoholic!!! TIPPER
