But YAH, did your w tell you she wanted OPs sexually? I mean, that's a pretty big obstacle here.
And I don't hear anything from her about working on HER issues. At all.
You make a number of good points.
No, my wife didn't talk about an OP, so you are right. But I did learn that words and actions are two different things.
GB's wife has talked about an OP, but according to GB, she hasn't acted on it.
I wonder if she is serious or it is a "threat" she knows will get GB's attension and her complaints about his changing his mind are her way of grinding in her tool that got his attension?
You are absolutely right, in my book having an EA or PA is not really compatable with DB'ing.
As to GB's wife refusing counseling and not working on her issues, I agree with you, that is bridge she will need to cross if things are to significantly improve.
She really sounds like someone who is immature, in an MLC, and confused about what she wants for herself. However, she is still young and they don't have children, so she hasn't had to "grow up." Any young woman that goes out drinking with relatives and friends and gets roaring drunk, hasn't yet grown up in my book. That is partially why I would view her actions as being louder than her words. It hasn't been that long ago that my two adult children were teenagers rebelling against their parents and authority.
Hell, up until close to the time that I got married, I could have been called immature, self-centered, and confused about what I wanted for myself. Getting serious about a woman, being responsible at a job, & wanting to settle down had an incredible impact on me.
I do like the advise you are giving GB. I just come from a different set of experiences and am "explaining" what I have lived and learned onto GB's situation. You are absolutelly right in cautioning GB that what worked for me, may not work for him. I agree completely, that GB needs to figure out what works for his wife and screen out any advice he tries that doesn't work.
>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.
