As 25 says, OP is NOT a tactic to win over spouse and save M.
While some on this board bring it up as a question and you may hear RL support tell you to make her jealous, I personally would only entertain that idea as a fantasy and using the thought as a way of blowing off steam from frustration.
There does seem to be a few around here these days that actually ARE considering OP. But NOT as a tactic. It's because we've dropped the rope and are getting on with our lives.
Personally, I would NEVER have an OP. When single, I would NEVER hitch up with someone who was in a relationship or M. AND, I never had more than one R at a time. That's just how I roll.
My D is not even filed, still waiting another two or probably three months just for the start of mediation. But... I have to be perfectly honest with myself that I do not believe there is any further hope to recon in my M. And I've grieved the loss of my M. And only having gone through that, can I consider an OP a possibility... and that is ONLY a possibility at this time.
Having said that... GALing with friends, including those of the opposite sex, is certainly more than acceptable. I would just caution that GALing with opposite sex has a possible risk. KNOW that and ACT accordingly. I have offended someone during my separation specifically because I said I wanted to be clear that there was nothing that I would do that could be a behaviour of EA or PA. But again... I would rather be clear and offend, then risk M over that...
