Digging Through Old Email

[Grace_O]

She says that I chipped away at her love over the years until there was nothing left.

But didn't really lay her cards on the table about it until she was "done"?

After so many years together we all have valid complaints. It's how we deal with such things that show who we really are.


Just b/c she has this om doesn't mean she's happy. I think you are equating "not being alone" with happy. I understand that she says she's happy, you say she looks awful, does that add up to happy to you?

Only about 7% of a conversation is verbal. That's probably why I prefer face to face stuff, you get alot more out of it.

HUGS

[AJM]

Is it wrong that I laughed a little when I read this?

P.S...I also get the blame for her "loving me but not being in love with me."

She says that I chipped away at her love over the years until there was nothing left.

Sure Tad. I'm sure it was your fault that there was an earthquake in Japan, that Bin Laden took so long to be found and that global warming is happening or not happening depending on your perspective(?), right? The list could go on.

I finally got to a point (a while back) that I no longer threw up in my mouth when I saw her. I got to a point where I took a real look. I wasn't impressed. My phone was since wiped, else I'd show you some pictures that were WAY less than flattering when I look back.

Here's a question for you to answer your question about was she always like that: Are you now just seeing her for the way she really is, or did she change that drastically? Is Love really that blind? Or could it be she was hiding behind her "mask" for many years?

Mine accused me of eroding the relationship. Single handedly. Said it was because of the way I was with the kids. That was after looking for any other reason. Eventually said it was because I a)never listened or b)because she couldn't be the good little wife or c) because she wanted to sleep with a man of another color, or d)....hell it just goes on and twists and conflicts etc. So why bother continuing? You get the point that this is not new and is almost script. Why script? Because there are just so many patterns that humans make in relationships right? Very rare that somebody does something that somebody else hasn't done in the past.

Not to focus on her Tad, but if she was that happy why ask about you when she has the chance? The guilt/anger cycle you feel is likely very little compared to what she feels.

The guy that she is with? Happiness? Hardly. Mine had to go through a few guys before she found one that wouldn't say no. Made me feel like a million bucks at the time I found that out

She is not looking to replace you. She is not looking for better. She wants "different" than you. You are radioactive to her. She wants to recapture feelings again. Any feelings.

The kids will work out what they want to work out with her. Don't think for a second that it won't reverse and you'll be the bad guy at some point. You might. That's the dynamic and how it works. But they will figure out their relationship with her and with you when they are ready and on their timeline. You need to let that happen as well.

Enough of letting you know that you are not alone. I think you get it now. I could go on for hours and we could swap these stories and you would see how similar things really are.

What was your thought when you woke up today Tad?

Life is good Tad.

[tadpole1025]

Thanks Grace and AJ. Thanks a lot.

But didn't really lay her cards on the table about it until she was "done"?

Exactly right Grace. I had no clue.

Sure Tad. I'm sure it was your fault that there was an earthquake in Japan, that Bin Laden took so long to be found and that global warming is happening or not happening depending on your perspective(?), right? The list could go on.

Yep. I think I mentioned in an earlier post that one of her biggest reasons for leaving me was because I wouldn't take her to the right grocery store. Classic.

Are you now just seeing her for the way she really is, or did she change that drastically? Is Love really that blind? Or could it be she was hiding behind her "mask" for many years?

Well, I think she changed that drastically.

The guilt/anger cycle you feel is likely very little compared to what she feels. The guy that she is with? Happiness? Hardly.

I almost hope that she feels guilty and unhappy. She sure hides it well if she is.

I'm tired of this mess. So tired. Sometimes I want to go ahead and file for D, but I don't want to have any regrets later down the line.

She just frys my a$$.

It's hard to believe that I have almost filled up another thread.

What was your thought when you woke up today Tad?

I BETTER TAKE THE TACO MEAT OUT OF THE FREEZER.

Tad

[AJM]

LOL. The taco meat? Classic.

[tadpole1025]

Hahaha. It's true.

Thanks for everything buddy.

W sent a text last night wanting to know if I could pick up S16 two hours earlier than normal on Sunday night because there might be a conflict. I told her I'd try.

Today, she says normal time would be fine because she thought there would be a conflict, but now realizes there won't be. I didn't respond.

I think her mind is gone.

Tad

[Grace_O]

Tad,

Taco meat?? I got this amzing recipe from a handsome devil, if you're good, maybe I'll pass it along.

Good means getting out and taking care of yourself BTW.

HUGS

[AJM]

Wait Grace - I've been good. Some would say great, but I don't like to stroke my ego

Tad, your sense of humor is showing through. That's awesome. Your perspective is stretching and your attitude is adjusting. I know there will be continued ups and downs, but when all is said and done you are beginning to learn to dance in the rain, my friend.

Don't get discouraged Tad. Life truly is a gift and is a very precious one at that. Enjoy the weekend!


AJ

[tadpole1025]

Thanks guys. Sad today and I don't know why.

Probably start a new thread soon.

T

[MHL]

Tad, your sense of humor is showing through. That's awesome. Your perspective is stretching and your attitude is adjusting. I know there will be continued ups and downs, but when all is said and done you are beginning to learn to dance in the rain, my friend.

Don't get discouraged Tad. Life truly is a gift and is a very precious one at that. Enjoy the weekend!

AJ

I couldn't agree more AJ!!!!!!

Tad,
TIME my friend.....TIME.

I will tell you what, it is some of the best medicine out there..

passing the time still s u c k s at times but it always is a medicine that goes down a little better with laughter.

Remember to laugh my friend.

Have a great weekend!!!

Cheers

[tadpole1025]

Thanks MHL.

I love my W so much, but I don't know if I can do this anymore. I'm thinking about filing for D. I'm tired of her sh!t and tired of having hope when there seems to be none.

The darker I go, the darker she goes.

I can't do this.

Tad