Dear Lord, please help 9 keep his mouth shut. Please teach him to use his feet more (to walk away) and his mouth much less...
No other way to say it. I could go line by line of how many times you could and should have ended the conversation but what's the point? Do you have any idea how crazy it is that your w ADMITS that she "got mad again" at you, b/c of what SHE did, and what her SIL said and blah blah blah OMG, WHO CARES? IT'S OVER AND YOU AREN'T GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT AGAIN...if you want someone to drop a topic, YOU have to drop it too. You set the example. You say "I'm not going to apologize again or discuss it again b/c someone else won't let go of it" then you drop it. You show her what that looks like. She knows her family is weird and needs you to represent a saner approach to life. But you get into it with them so you are a part of the whole weird life style. As for the whole inlaw insanity-- Oh the drama of it all....
At some level you like this, or are addicted to it, or simply don't have any role models for ways of communicating and activities to show you another way of living. Their way of living is not healthy. It's dysfuntional and destructive. Period.
This is crazy stuff. DETACH...her complaint about you being gregarious is so odd and out of line, I would have laughed in her face. "Sorry I'm friendly. Put that on my list of flaws..." good grief, why are you inviting such commentary? Oh, you're not. You're just listening to it and then engaging. Don't. Just don't. This isn't complicated 9. It's simple.Not easy, but not complicated.
You engage far too much, you read into everything and your w is soooo NOT indifferent to you. That would be a sign that it's over.
On the contrary, She's into the dynamics of your r, and the fighting and she has a crazy family, and you need to not be part of that. Just stop it. Seriously. Stop it. Get a grip. [b]Set out simple "rules of engagement" for yourself, and follow them. These are NOT for you to share with her, but to model for her. When she abuses you, you leave. CALMLY...and Why are you telling her about how nice you were being, and what new approach you were taking??? It sounds tactical and false.
Just DO it, don't talk about it. BE it, BE detached instead of talking about how you will only be talking about the boys and blah blah blah.....all talk and no walk....and I mean a lot of talk... You must stop that. [/b] She and her family are just crazy "Swirling Vortex's Of Negativity" (SVONs)...they suck you in and you let them. What do you think it will take before you can back off & be by yourself and calm, and not get sucked into their SVON?? [color:#CC0000]What do you need to know, or have us tell you, before you can manage your own behavior? Hasn't the inability to manage it, cost you enough already? [/colo
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
