Mission 25. I Really Mean it this time>

[OnMyWay]

9, you're doing SO much better keeping your emotions in check, for that, I applaud you.

But, I just can't leave without one good swing, I just enjoy it too much!

I am getting much better and even was taking a new approach to you. I was being nicer and you saw that. But I dont know if I want you texting me anymore if every third one is going to be nasty based on your perception.

M: Okay then , lets go back to just quick responses to the kids only, YOU LIVE YOur life and I will live mine, PEriod

You need to cut all this crap out. The first line about taking a new approach, just sounds like a ploy. I don’t think you should be telling her any of this, you simply act for you, the way you want to.

Then you set the rules for the future, again, this is for you to decide and then act upon. Not something to be told to your W. All IMVHO of course.

I would suggest not engaging her at all when she gets nasty. If she continues and asks why you are ignoring her, simply tell her you have no interest in this type of discuss.

We are suggested to be polite and upbeat with our WAS. It is also VERY important to know when to KEEP OUR MOUTH SHUT.

Too many words can only hurt IMO.

I agree with Country on this 9. Shut the h*ll up. W and her SIL obviously are baiting you for the purpose of making you look like the bad guy an thereby justifying their actions for themselves. The SIL, especially if she doesn't like you, will continue this until you are completely out of the picture. As long as you can be goaded into this position by her, you're gonna loose. I'd recommend some jujitsu moves here, whereby you use the opponent's power against them. If you can maintain your sanity and not let them push your buttons by agreeing with everything she says, you take away her power. Plus, the advantage of this is it will drive her crazy knowing she can't get to you anymore. Hopefully, she'll just give up and go away.

I find it interesting how much your W is involved with "taking you down." She obviously still cares very much. If she didn't she might just tell the SIL to shut up as she doesn't want to hear about it anymore and move on. However, she is still very much involved. I think you are right in wishing for further detachment. The more you detach, the less power she has. You can tell how you are doing by gauging it against how angry she gets as she looses her control. If she gets worse, you're doing well.