The level of self pitying, selfish entitlement runs so deep here and you all just feed each other.
You want to pat yourselves on the back for all the changes you've made in a few months.
Bully for you.
We, and I mean all of us, have probably hurt our spouses in more ways than we can imagine over a period of YEARS. YEARS, not months or weeks. yet they stayed and tried and didn't run the first time it got really hard. They only decided to run, walk when they reached a point where nothing was going to get better. It was their LAST RESORT.
But Now we are suddenly woken up by this. We follow the LBS script... we make dramatic changes, go to the gym, return to/find religion, become family men, work less, care-take more, become thoughtful.
But we want the spouse to recognize it right away, to accept these changes without question. We don't want to wait; that's for the spouse when they waited for us for years.
We start the self pity cycle when we want our S to do what we couldn't and didn't do for years. We make threats to others and our selves about how we "can't take it." "how much longer do I have to put up with it." "I have options."
I'm sorry, but we created the situation, we don't get to dictate the outcome OR the TIME LINE.
Run if you want, take the easy way. But know your spouse didn't.
