Trying to love my WAW from a distance

[jbnati]

Day 5 after W moved out.

First school night for my S at W's apartment. Got to bed way too late last night. Ran 3 mi. this morning. Nothing too exciting.

It's looking like my church community group is cancelled tonight. Might end up doing some retail therapy instead. I need to back fill the TV and entertainment center my W took.

Feeling very, very tired today. Trying to give our sitch patience.

We may go to dinner tonight before my S has Cub Scouts. We'll see. I'm OK either way. Right now there a little low level tension between us. Our interactions on the surface are generally pleasant, though.

[jbnati]

So my W asked if I would like to have dinner out with my S and her tonight. I had turned her down last night, but I accepted for tonight.

I now need a TV and entertainment center to back fill what she took from the house from where she moved out. I have asked if she would like to go and look at entertainment centers with me tonight while S is at Cub Scouts. Bad idea? I think right now I just need to give her some more space. I think I am at least enjoying some space right now, too. She just gave me kind of a neutral response (similar to the one I gave her about dinner).

[jbnati]

Went ahead and did dinner with W and S. It was actually pretty nice. No R talk. No D talk. Just talked about her new job.

I kind of talked her out of looking at entertainment centers and went by myself for retail therapy. Picked up a entertainment center and a new TV. Actually did text W about a particular entertainment and the color and how it would look. She replied back by the time I had already purchased one. She actually came back to the house and took the dog to the park while S was at Cub Scouts.

All in all, the evening went as well as to be expected. She wanted to go dinner. Who does that kind of stuff when they want a D?

Not sure when I will see W again. It may not be until Sunday. I intend on GAL'ing this weekend with my S.

[jbnati]

Day 6 after W moves out.

I'm feeling pretty good this morning. I think I'm rolling the dice that my W moving out is going to ultimately help our sitch. At times it feels pretty risky. However, I think she genuinely needed the space right now. I think I did, too. Don't get me wrong, I desparately want her to come back, re-commit to the M, and start working together with me to make changes to the M. But I will continue to work on myself and give it some time.

[islander]

I am glad you are keeping a positive attitude about your sitch. It is tough to do

[jbnati]

Thanks, islander. I would be liar if I told you it was an easy thing to do.

[jbnati]

1 week since W moved out.

I did not have any contact with W yesterday. I have my S for the weekend. We visited with some friends last night. We really haven't anything too exciting today. It's been rainy outside. I have just been looking at some dining room tables on craiglist. We've done some laundry, and I'm making him help. We may head over to Kings Island to ride some coasters later on. We may just stay home and watch a movie. I think we're both pretty tired.

[ninelives]

Keep being positive and GAL. That is the only thing to do. I hope it gets easier for you but be prepared for some backslides, its natural .

You are doing great.

9

[jbnati]

Thanks for that, 9. That's exactly what I'm doing - trying to keep a PMA, GAL, and detach. Keeping a PMA and detaching are the hardest parts. But the GAL isn't too bad and it helps with the other things.

[jbnati]

I am feeling a little melancholy today. I am missing my W. I suppose these feelings are natural and I have to give myself permission to have them.

I took my S down to W's apartment tonight. I took a microwave oven down there we had in the basement so she wouldn't have buy one. We seldom use it anyway. I helped install some software on her laptop. We had a minor dispute regarding one of her commission checks and a bill of hers I paid, but we came to agreement on it.

She seems to be doing well on her own, at least for the first week. I don't know what to feel about that - whether it's a good thing or a bad thing (Not very good detaching, no?)

S drops old SNES video game console at apartment and it appears it may be broken. He's all upset and and W says something to the effect of either getting over it or not ruining your life. I wanted so bad to say something about him imitating his Mom, but I bit my tongue.