Mission 25. I Really Mean it this time>

[ninelives]

Gotta tell you , im pretty much fed up with this rollercoaster.

She sent me a nasty text yesterday when I got home from school.

Long one , so Ill hit the highlights.

Sarcastically thanking me for effing up her relationship with BIL again because I mentioned that she had the fish he caught with OM. BTw, sidebar- Sil sent her sister leftover Pizza and BIL was upset about that because " He'll be damned if he will be feeding that baturd(OM) any food.

- also screwed up relationship with BIL and SIL again as they are not speaking again.

- Then said I was basically a bad dad because I went to my volleyball for an hour and a half while youngest son was in my care on Monday and he cut his finger and then called his mom to help him with it while she was at work.

- I then went for my drum lesson on Tuesday and was bad for doing that ( gone 1 hour and a half again for that) and he got scrared and called his Aunt ( my crzy SIL) to come over and we all remember how that played out.

- She said that she was not going to let youngest son come over if thats how I was going to be while i look after him and she will make other arrangements.

- Said that I am ruining my kids by being so pigheaded and not treating her well in front of them , that I was so self righteous and Pigheaded and everyone is always wrong while I am right and that I will never change in that regard.
(this stems from the agruement I had with her sister when I finally said some things back after taking a barrage of how lazy and selfish and bad I was as a person)

I lashed out at SIL and said something like , If you didnt meddle so much in our lives, we would still be together , you helped ruin this marriage ( which is true, she always bad mouthed me from the start, even told my W I had my hand on her bridesmaids butt at our wedding, WTF ?)

When she mentioned OM to me that night, I asked her point blank.

"Do you condone what your sister has done because YOU always told me that cheating was wrong no matter what."

I should have just walked away from her when she was attacking me and I WILL if that ever happens again, but I never want to see that woman again.

So back to the text. She went on to say that I should just stay out of her life and NEVER mind what she is doing etc.

- To have sons clothes ready , dirty or not, which I guess is a reference to when I had clothes packed and accidently put in a coupleo of dirty clothes with the clean. She hangs on to everything like that and magnifies.


I responed with, I understand and agree with some of you points but not all. Where is all this anger coming from

W: What points dont you agree with.


I didnt respond.

When she arrived at 7:45 to pick up son , I went out to chat with her. ( She called from driveway BTW to tell she was there)

I offered my hand and sais, " Truce"

She accepted.

I said to her, why all this hostility, we were getting along fine and then what happened. I thought we put that comment i made to BIL behind us.


W: Well it surfaced again, my sister said more things that made me mad.

M: YOur sister was drunk. She said some pretty nasty things that eventually got me to defend myself and I said some things back to her.

W: Doesnt matter , I dont care. Between you and her, Just wish you didnt destroy my R with BIL

M: I talked to him today. Its not destryed , he will be civil to you agaian like he was.

W: But its not going to be the same. He told me when my Father died that he promised him he would look after me and hugged me with tears in his eyes. ( she teared up )

M: Okay well like I said , it is not fractured

W: Sister told me that he wants nothing to do with me again.

M: When they were both drunk he probably said that , wasnt just about the fish you know, it was about other things too.

W: The fish is what got it all started again, I didnt think about the implications about the fish, just knew youngest son was proud of his catch and wanted to share it.

M: Yeah, with his family however, I dont want to go there.

( She got visibly upset at that point)

BIL is most upset that he spent all the time, money and effort to clean the fish , not for the OM .

I know , its such a stupid point when one steps back and looks at it. Thats why I wish I NEVER said anything about it. Yes , I can feel that way and feel upset but I should have kept it to myself.

M: LOok , i know how stupid this all sounds now, I told you that I wish I never mentioned it to him. I had a slip and Im being crucified for it. You said a number of times that you didnt mean somethings you say and have slipped when texting talking to me etc. Why is it only you can be forgiven for things like that.

W: Why dont you just move on , get on with your life and not mine.

M: Excellent advice and thats what Im doing, I had a slip , thats all. Dont shoot me for having a slip. I dont think you get it, the dynamics of this situation. Sometimes I wish the shoe was on the other foot just so you could get a glimpse of it.

I am getting much better and even was taking a new approach to you. I was being nicer and you saw that. But I dont know if I want you texting me anymore if every third one is going to be nasty based on your perception.

W: I know, I was happy that you were being so nice and finally turning the corner, then this happens.

M: Okay then , lets go back to just quick responses to the kids only, YOU LIVE YOur life and I will live mine, PEriod

W: Thats what you want, fine. I dont care anymore. I just want to be able to live my life without all this crap.

M: All right then. One last thing. About me being neglectful of son. Should I not have my vb night and go to my drum lessons for an hour. Even if we were still married and you were working I would go to those things.

W: Yes but he is out of sorts and needs us. He gets freaked out at night.

M: HIs brother is there with him.

W: NOt really, he sends him upstairs and he is then by himself.

M: It just happend to have incidents both nights. I wasnt gone long and I do want to engage in some activities. Is that bad?

W: I will make arrangements next time I work nights and I have him.

M: I think you are overreacting. If that happens again, I will cancel my drum lesson and not go to volleyball. Ok

W: All right



I go and get sons clothes, go in to give him a kiss as he is in the van. Bang my head on the van window jambe. Both he and wife laugh and she says , Ouch


I say, dont care it was worth it.

I text her this morning and ask if she is working again and should I expect to feed son again. If so, tell him we are having mexican.

She responds with . Yes I am working, and he will be there for supper. AARRRRRRIIIIIBBBBBBA.

Which I guess is an attempt to get back on track.

I simply reply: Thnx

her reply to that is puzzling to me as i am not up on computer lingo.:) or somthing like that.

WOW

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