I have a wonderful friend, that I email with occasionally...
95 percent of the time, he gets right to the core of my problem, which always ends up being one sort of fear or another creeping back in to my blond brain...
I don't even always see the fear...
Hence the emails...for me to sort things out...
Usually it is what it is though...
When I acknowledge those fears, specifically, finding the root, it is pretty easy to see how "stupid" (sorry can't think of a better word) that the fear really is...
How, whether the fear is rational or irrational, holding onto it, keeps me stuck in the fear, in the what if's, keeps me spinning.
Then it is up to me, to either let go of the fear and just live and see what happens, or stay stuck in the fear and keep going in the circles in my brain...
I have been known to hold onto those fears, embracing them, no matter what my rational brain understood, driving my poor friend crazy until he finally stops debating it with me...which at that point, I slow down and THINK...
And usually, then I let them go...
Which is freeing and allows me to live...
Denver,
Your fear of losing your W, is keeping you stuck...
Your fear of having to forgive her again, is keeping you stuck...
Your fear of being the Denver that you were beginning to become, is keeping you stuck...
Your fear that DB might not work, you may end up DIVORCED (yes I say the word, it doesn't scare me), and that will make you a failure, because you tried and didn't get your desired outcome, is keeping you stuck...
Your fear of being ALONE is keeping you stuck...
Worst case scenario...
You are already living it...
She left you. She had OM in her life. You were alone.
What happened to Denver?
You lived. You forgave. You loved.
You didn't die and you didn't fail.
Whether she comes back or not, you will go on. You will survive and you will succeed, if you choose...
Up to you now...
Are you up to the challenge?
Or is it time to throw in the towel?
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
