Recovering after a same sex affair - Part 4

[OnMyWay]

All in all, it was a very frustrating session. W was mad at the world. I kept making mistakes, as the conversation became escalated. I felt pretty weak, as she was hammering down on me. Maybe keeping my cool and not escalating myself is actually the best thing that I did. I don't know. I just didn't have a positive feeling as I left. It made me want to seek out my W further to make amends. That is frustrating.

This just reminds me of what my DB Coach told me (AJM80 and I have discussed this elsewhere), a WAW who complains still very much cares. If she was disinterested (a better way of putting it, don't ya think AJ?), then she'd be done. Try to look at it this way: She keeps coming at you because she is still very much involved in this process - and that's a good thing. Like gb90 says, she's baiting you into conflict, so she can have a chance to justify her actions for what she's done. My W still does this to me, even though she is slowly beginning to come to grips with reality and taking responsibility. I know its tough to not let it get you down. Just realize it's a trick and a positive (a negative positive?). You are on the right track. Stay the course.