One thing I have figured out in my own sitch and years of reading the sitches on this board. When the pieces of the puzzle don't fit together and make a coherent picture, it means that you don't have all the pieces. Some things are being hidden. For me, the mystery was the most painful part.
What is hidden? That is anybody's guess. Usually it is a lover, but that doesn't mean it is. All I can really say is, you should stop trying to piece it all together, because you don't have all the pieces, and some of the ones you have may be false.
The best thing to do is take what's left of your self-esteem, and say to yourself, "I don't have time for people who treat me like this", and go spend your time with people who enjoy your company. To spend time wanting to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you is negative energy, and it is a huge drain on your soul. At a time like this, you need positive energy, not negative.
