Is it wrong that I laughed a little when I read this?
Quote:
P.S...I also get the blame for her "loving me but not being in love with me."
She says that I chipped away at her love over the years until there was nothing left.
Sure Tad. I'm sure it was your fault that there was an earthquake in Japan, that Bin Laden took so long to be found and that global warming is happening or not happening depending on your perspective(?), right? The list could go on.
I finally got to a point (a while back) that I no longer threw up in my mouth when I saw her. I got to a point where I took a real look. I wasn't impressed. My phone was since wiped, else I'd show you some pictures that were WAY less than flattering when I look back.
Here's a question for you to answer your question about was she always like that: Are you now just seeing her for the way she really is, or did she change that drastically? Is Love really that blind? Or could it be she was hiding behind her "mask" for many years?
Mine accused me of eroding the relationship. Single handedly. Said it was because of the way I was with the kids. That was after looking for any other reason. Eventually said it was because I a)never listened or b)because she couldn't be the good little wife or c) because she wanted to sleep with a man of another color, or d)....hell it just goes on and twists and conflicts etc. So why bother continuing? You get the point that this is not new and is almost script. Why script? Because there are just so many patterns that humans make in relationships right? Very rare that somebody does something that somebody else hasn't done in the past.
Not to focus on her Tad, but if she was that happy why ask about you when she has the chance? The guilt/anger cycle you feel is likely very little compared to what she feels.
The guy that she is with? Happiness? Hardly. Mine had to go through a few guys before she found one that wouldn't say no. Made me feel like a million bucks at the time I found that out
She is not looking to replace you. She is not looking for better. She wants "different" than you. You are radioactive to her. She wants to recapture feelings again. Any feelings.
The kids will work out what they want to work out with her. Don't think for a second that it won't reverse and you'll be the bad guy at some point. You might. That's the dynamic and how it works. But they will figure out their relationship with her and with you when they are ready and on their timeline. You need to let that happen as well.
Enough of letting you know that you are not alone. I think you get it now. I could go on for hours and we could swap these stories and you would see how similar things really are.
What was your thought when you woke up today Tad?
Life is good Tad.
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
