On the snooping thing, after my H ended things with his EA the first time, I would pray and pray to be given a sign whether he had reconnected with her (all his contact was through a work cellphone and computer, so snooping wasn't possible). I suspected he had, from the way he was behaving, but couldn't be sure. It wasn't until after he'd recommitted to the M, in the counsellor's office, that he told me about his further contact with her, and how they had agreed to end things more permanently.
My point is, if my prayers had been answered earlier and I'd found evidence of their contact, it would have been very difficult for me not to give up on the M. After all, I'd seen how miserable withdrawal from her made him the first time. Not knowing made it possible for me to work on myself, to get to a point where I knew I could be fine without him.
Keep working towards that point yourself, Angel. Once you get there, you will feel completely differently about your life!
