Nine - It was time for me to do this a long time ago. But, I just couldn't give up on what I feel is my "life's work". I still feel that the reason I am on this earth is simple - to create and maintain a strong family. But...I simply can't do it when STBX just doesn't share the same goals and morals anymore. She isn't the woman I fell in love with and she isn't someone I trust anymore. She isn't someone who makes me feel good about myself. She does the exact opposite. No matter what I do, it's still not good enough for her.
As for dating, I am really not into it now, but may have to fake it until I make it. Morally, I couldn' date until I had given up on our marriage. I couldn't say and live one thing and then do what someone who is married should never do. But, now hopefully I can. It will be a big step for me.
Today, I am broken and have reached a low point. But I need to hit this rock bottom to change my life. I finally took the blinders off and it really hurts to see the reality. If only I had done this years ago, I would be that much further ahead now. Still, I am proud of how hard I worked and will always be proud.
