To me validating, doesn't necessarily mean agreeing with them. It merely means understanding where they are coming from, and taking their feelings and opinions into consideration.
That being said, she is seeing pressure mount up on her. The fairy tale keeps falling apart, and she wants to kick her old scapegoat again. Let her vent tell her you understand her frustrations, and tell her you will help within your means and capabilities. Then just let her kick and scream. Eventually she will just get tired, and calm down. At this level she may realize what she did and even apologize. Let her go crazy while you keep your calm. Eventually she'll realize it's her acting like a crazy brat not you. Be careful though as she is most likely baiting you into a fight so she can place as much blame as she can on you. (Although we both know that the finances would be better of for the both of you if she hadn't gone WAW). She is looking to blame you for her mistakes. Typical WAW.
"surely it's not my fault the fairy tale is falling apart, must be that damn LBS again!!!"
