The final stages...withdrawal to acceptance

[angel61]

This is a very informative thread.

There were times I have started to doubt that my H is in MLC, thinking it may have been more of an "affair fog", but reading all of your posts made me think again. The control thing especially - I almost laughed, just the other day my H told me I had controlled him all his life, and he went back to a time when I was not even his GF yet! So I told him "how could I do that? I wasn't even your GF yet at that time?" and his reply? "because you were always around!" Yeah, right. My being around made him fall for me.....LOL!

I myself wonder where my H is. I am 10 months post bomb. EA was officially November 26, 2010, but H is still in contact with OW by phone and text, they did see each other for lunch during a conference.

H is still at home, and actually has verbalized to me that he is not leaving, but that he does not love me, but feels that he can accept the situation as it is (???). We started having more communication, feeling more comfortable since last month. He even has started showing some affection to me, especially for mothers day, getting me a gift.

He got mad at me on Monday because he caught me snooping and it brought out the monster in him (I hate this life, I want my freedom, lets be separated but remain married).

I don't know of any issues from childhod, but he is not fond of his mother, who is very controlling. She had a nervous breakdown when he was around 10 or 11.

He himself is very controlling, to the point of deciding what i get to eat. Everyone knows this. But I don't really care, I usually have to decide and lead at work and in my own family, so when i go home I am just glad to let him take the reins. But with his MLC, his controlling has gotten to the point that he even asks us not to cross him as it makes him so angry. I cannot even suggest something at times. Only if it concerns our D12 is he open. If he needs my input he will ask me. I am actually trying to think back to when he started being this controlling as this might be the signal that his MLC had started. I think it was around 6 months prior to the bomb - January or February of 2010.

One thing though is he is still an amazing dad, all throughout this time. A few times he did slack off a little, but never more than a week or so at a time.

Last time I did a temperature check he was still in replay.