85 Days

[Denver_2010]

Brief Update...

I drove out of town for work yesterday after the stuff that happened with my last update. It was a tough trip bc I was by myself There is nothing time and the open road to help a person obsess with things like I wrote about yesterday.

W had to go to a funeral yesterday at 1:30, so she called in sick at work. On my way out of town, I texted her to let her know where I had put the check that I had left at her house. I told her, "sorry that you have to go to a funeral today. I hope that you have a great day though'.

My court appearance was in my hometown about 2 hours away from where I live now. W had asked me on Monday night if I was going to stay the night so that I could visit my sister and grandmother. I told her that I didn't know. That I was going to be prepared to do that, but that it would be a last minute decision.

At around 6 p.m. W texted me asking me if I was staying the night. She told me that she had gotten the check and was out again. I tried calling W, but she didn't answer the phone. I called SS's phone. SS told me that they were at the hospital where SIL is after having her baby. W was doing something with niece. I asked SS about school to see if he had a good day and if he had stayed out of trouble.

A little while later, I texted W to let her know that I was not staying the night and that I was headed home soon. She texted back that she was busy with niece and that is why she had not answered her phone. I responded by telling her that I would talk to her later.

At around 8 p.m., SS called my phone. He was upset and asked me if I would pick him up. I asked him what was wrong. He and W had gotten into an argument.

SS has been saying things lately about W abusing him, that he's going to call the cops to get her into trouble, that she hits him, and other b.s. This has happened 2 or 3 times over the past week.

So SS started telling me these things again. That W had hit him... that W said that she wished she could hit him as hard at she could. I told SS that he had been saying that a lot lately and that he knew those things were not true... that I knew that they were not true. I told SS that he needed to go do whatever it was that W had told him to do. SS got mad at me and told me 'you always help mom, you never help me.' As I was trying to talk to SS more, W called.

I got on the phone with W and she was very upset at SS. And she was rude to me. She asked if I was on the phone with him. I told her that I was and that I didn't know what was going on. W told me to get off of the phone with him and that she needed him to help her bc she had niece and something else... couldn't understand her. I calmly told her that I would and reminded her that I was 2 hours away and had no idea what was going on.

I got back on the phone with SS and told him to go help his mom. That I would talk to him later.

I headed home. About an hour after getting off of the phone with W and SS, W called me again. I was driving at the time. W was a bit calmer, but still rude with me. She was obviously still very upset. I asked what had happened and she explained why SS had gotten mad. She told me some things that SS said to her that were pretty awful for a 12 year old to say to his mom. W said that he was doing this in front of her 2 year old niece. I asked W if she was okay. She responded by saying that she is just sick of her life. That she just wished that everyone would just leave her alone. I didn't respond other than to say "okay, lets talk later."

I got home and W called again. This was about an hour after the last conversation. W was nicer to me, but still upset. But instead of an angry type of upset, I could sense more of a sad upset. It sounded like she was about ready to break down into tears.

She said that she remembered what it was that she did that SS thought was her hitting him. She said that she had tried to put her hand over his mouth when she was cursing at her so that niece wouldn't hear. that SS had pulled away and knocked her hand down. W obviously felt some need to explain this to me. I told her that I completely understood, and that knew that SS was making stuff up. That i had also noticed him doing this the past few days. I told W that she shouldn't worry about it. While it was obvious that she was, she said, 'I'm not worried about it. But he can't continue to live with me if he is going to be like this. I won't put up with that b.s.' I told her that I thought that everyone needed counseling with this sitch. She told me that she thought it was SS, not anything else. That SS has a problem with her. I didn't have a chance to respond, and it is probably good. W's mom pulled up into her driveway at that time and W said she needed to go.

I texted W about 20 minutes later. "I'm going to bed. Goodnight' She responded, "Ok. My mom is still here. Night.'

things with SS are getting bad the past few days. I suspect that it has something to do with his uncle being in town from Korea and a bit of jealousy that he feels re uncle's new W. He was very excited to see his uncle, but he hasn't gotten as much attention as I think that he thought he would. He is acting out. At least that IMO.

I'm starting to get worried about W's emotional state in regards to SS. I worry that she is not dealing well at all right now and that there may be signs of MLC. I hope that I'm wrong, but I've never heard W mention SS not living with her, or heard her be so frustrated with his behavior.

BITS
Denver